The Global War On Pizza Crust

A global jihad against pizza crust is sweeping the globe, offering “American” food flavors in unholy communions. Behold the horror!

Old and busted: Pizza crust.

The new hotness: Pizza crusts as bready platforms for any-and-all “American” and/or local flavors. Now with free mustard*!!

Two/several/many great tastes that taste great together?

Or a horrific omen of impending culinary apocalypse? You decide!

2. Cheeseburger Crust: Crown Crust Burger Pizza

Video available at:  .

3. Chicken Finger, Mozzarella Stick, and Honey Mustard Crust

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4. Corn Flakes, Cheese Nuggets, and Jalapeno Cheese Sauce

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5. Melted Cheese-in-a-Blanket — with Shrimp (tails included; no extra charge)

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6. Battered, deep fried shrimp, Fish, Pineapple, and roll-ups filled with “cheezy liquid gold.”

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7. Blobs of spreadable, um, stuff

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8. Finally, no crust at all: the Fish & Chips Pizza.

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*On the global fascination with “Mustard Sauce” on pizza: I have no idea.

10. The Global War has now spread to America’s shores:


Cheesy Bites Pizza — now available at your local Pizza Hut, with free marinara dipping sauce or (for $0.50 extra) you can get blue cheese, ranch, or garlic.

Have you tried this? Or any others? What was it like? Any good?

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