10 Disney Bros You Know In Real Life

The bros of Disney....some of them cautioned us of what happens when you give too many fucks....from Tramp to John Smith...some of them taught us bros just wanna have fun but overall Disney introduced us to the bros of our lives.

1. Tramp

Classic bad boy. Tramp is the guy from the wrong side of the tracks that rich girls love to date...for a hot sec. He has a best friend named Jock and it's clear they ran shit (and peaked) in high school...you know....the guy who's hot shit in your hometown but anywhere else he's a total nerd....hence he's never left town and is now an electrician.

We love him because he has street cred, the ladies love him - but then we realize, there's no way we can eat pasta out of a dumpster the rest of our lives (is it even organic?) What's in a name?....A fucking lot if your name is Tramp.

2. Pinocchio

He's got no strings, or moral compass to hold him down. He's in pursuit of becoming a real boy, and like any boy on this quest he gets caught up in the party lifestyle and spends too much time on Pleasure Island. He's desperate to fit in and gets mixed up with Lampwick, who upon being a dick for too long literally turns into a Jackass.

He say's he'll stop doing Molly, then he shows up to your dinner date rolling face and lies about it. But you can count on him for a 3A "You Up" every now and then...as long as his phone doesn't "die." After all, he's the guy who introduced us to YOLO; after inhaling a drag from his fatty blunt in PI he tells buzz kill Jiminy Cricket, "A guy only lives once." #YOLO.

3. Simba

Typical trust fund bro. Simba uses partying to cope with the loss of his father at a young age, he escapes to the African Jungle (va-cay) to "find himself," aka do drugs, how else do you think he saw his father in the sky? Because he's rich doing drugs is classy. Simba eventually realizes running daddy's Pride Rock Empire is what he wants in life....duh.

Simba has no real passion, because his money can get him anything. Because his money gets him anything he has no real consequences, everything with him feels safe - even if you're hitting the slopes harder than Sonny Bono all night. He has a house in Montauk, flat in TriBeCa, ski house in Aspen, vineyard in the Loire Valley....and party favors are never in short supply, he has a lack of ambition but it's kind of endearing - and he'll step it up when he needs to....so we're down with him, plus we loooovvvee summering.

4. Mad Hatter

Say yes to drugs and go down the rabbit hole, curiosity often leads to doing drugs in dark places and tripping balls.

He wants to be a DJ and throws parties in chill underground lo-cals. He parties like every day is his birthday, because he can't remember what day it is. When you met he told you to call him "Beats." He's your dealer.

5. John Smith

He's a nice guy, but doesn't realize how arrogant he is. He goes on a voyage to explore, and on his way he discovers himself.

He's the bro who goes abroad and comes back with a Chinese wife, and by Chinese we mean literally Chinese, like she does not speak English. He thinks everything foreign is "exotic," even when he's the one in the foreign country...."America Fuck Yeah."

6. Tarzan

He was raised by apes and grew up wearing loincloths. He grows up without any working knowledge of the outside world, until he meets Jane - and he finds love.

Bringing him to dinner with your friends is always awkward, because he doesn't seem to get your customs. He's really comfortable with his body and is a romantic in a way most American bros aren't, his accent allows him get away with saying things that don't make sense...and you're just like "that's so cute."

7. Hercules

Like most people who become famous he wasn't popular growing up - kids made fun of him, too chill for his own good. He took lessons on becoming a "true hero" from a half goat named Phil, and went from Zero to Hero once he discovered steroids. He falls for Meg, who clearly follows the Kate Moss motto of "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels."

Dumb Jock, and we love him for it. He is the guy who knows everything about sports, but couldn't name the president. He had jaws dropping, hearts swooning - plus muses writing song about him. Whatever, as Jersey Chasers know, it's fun to have a pro athlete on your resume.

8. The Beast

Beauty and The Beast - google the fucking story, how do you not know it? It's a tale as old a time.

He's the one that your friends dread when he's texting you again, everyone says he's no good for you....but...you can change him (right?) - and you can melt his cold cold heart (or so you hope). I mean, once Belle came into his life he was unsure, but there was something there - and eventually he started dressing better, got manners and ball room danced with her! See girls, just stick around until he changes! (Thanks Disney!)

9. Peter Pan

Obviously we had to include Peter Pan. Our quintessential frat bro living life like Van Wilder where Neverland is his college that he never wants to leave or grow up because all that matters in life is having fun. In NNL Bro Pan runs his crew of Lost Boys who live a life of themed parties where girls dress in mermaid and Indian costumes and sit around a fire smoking hash, pondering life’s philosophical questions such as “What makes the red man red?”.... (Oh I dunno, Pan sleeping with the chief's daughter Tiger Lily?)

He's the bro that shows up at 3AM saying things like...“Hey girl, I can fly” and off to Neverland we go. But he will always has his rotation, Tink, his fairy snorting pixie dust and Tiger Lily - his favorite girl to bring to a theme party in an ethnically sensitive Native American costume.

10. Prince Charming

Falls in love you with you at first sight

Will kill dragons for you

Will never break your heart

His kiss will bring you back to life

Heir to a massive estate

Takes you on romantic trips to far-away places

Will live with you happily ever after

He's the bro who....oh wait....he doesn't exist.