The 18 People You Meet Playing Magic: The Gathering

You’ve tapped a few cards in your day. Here are some characters you’ve met along the way.

1. The Thinker

Ok, go ahead and spend 10 hours figuring out if you’re going to tap two islands or an island and a plains. I’ll just sit here.

2. The Collector

How does that rare dual land help your draft? Oh, I see, you’re going to sell it.

3. The Newbie

“But this one says interrupt, what does that do?” “Is a spell like a sorcery?”

4. The One Who Takes It Waay Too Seriously

It’s just a game, dude. Lighten up.

5. The One Who’s Super Into The Mythology

And loves explaining it to everyone who walks by. “You see, we’re both mighty wizards called planeswalkers and we’re casting spells…” Please just stop.

6. The Stickler for the Rules

Of course I wanted to pay the upkeep on that before drawing. Are you really going to make me sacrifice it?

7. The One Who’s Strict About The Rules, But Knows The Wrong Rules


Mana burn hasn’t been around since 2010. Nice try though.

8. The Guy With The Money


Doesn’t think twice about buying a few Jaces or Tarmogoyfs. Foil? Why not. Full art? NBD. Stack your deck with expensive cards all you want, a good player can still beat you.

9. The attractive girl who everyone presumes is a novice, but then they end up absolutely destroying.

Let’s try not to judge so quickly in the future. Some reading.

10. The Idle Shuffler


The person that just keeps shuffling their hand… forever…
♫ Everyday i’m shuffling ♫

11. The guy who plays correctly, but has everything in weird places and cards upside down.

Was the person who taught you this game drunk?

12. The 3rd person who shows up “Let’s just play multiplayer”


One on one is better and that’s a fact. Otherwise everyone just waits and pretends they’re not a threat until somebody dies. Exceptions: EDH or Two-Headed Giant.

13. The kid with the deck with a 4th round infinite combo and you’re pretty sure one of the cards is banned.

Well that was fun, now what?

14. “Is that Magic? I should bring my cards. I used to play a long time ago- I bet I have a bunch of rare cards”

You don’t, they’re probably all Urza’s Saga or Tempest

15. The Guy Who Plays With Unglued Cards


Ok, they’re amusing the first time, but you do know that’s not a real card, right?

16. The Neckbeard And The Buttcrack

For outsiders, this is everyone playing Magic. See this man’s full adventures

17. The One With The Playing Mat

And the expensive metal suitcase. And the box of d6’s. #swag

18. The Best Friend

The one you play almost every day. The one that’s played all of your decks against all of theirs several times. The one you drive to the Magic store with to find new cards. The one who knows all the house rules (friendly mulligan, then discard down to 6). The reason you still play this game.

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