Your hair's naturally curly, right? How long does this take you in the morning??Matted bedhead
This look is achieved by grinding your head into a pillow in agony, then adding hairspray.Hairspray sunburst
Your face constantly looks like it's exploding out of your own hair.Brown and boring because your stupid parents won't let you dye it
"Mom, can I at least do a STREAK?"Shaved on one side, long on the other
Show a little skull.Sharp razor bob
Severe, just like you.
Parents visibly steer their children away from you on the sidewalk.
They don't get that you just LOOK scary! These fangs pop right out, see? Oh, wait, now the kid is sobbing.No one can pronounce the goth pseudonym you chose to hide the fact that your real name is Susan.
Why couldn't your parents have named you "Prystess Eliphyre Vampyrina" instead of something so totally weird?You can't decide whether to use a free afternoon writing poetry, making music, or painting.
There are just TOO many ways to express the turmoil of your inner soul sometimes, you know?Mall cops won't let you loiter in the food court unless you're eating something.
But you already spent all your money on leather spike collars!How could you pick when EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD IS SO PAINFUL?
Your pet peeve is the ongoing struggle of being alive.Too many people want to date you. It's, like, so annoying!
The above website will never, ever grace the screen of your laptop, as you're already rolling in potential paramours.
"BELA LUGOSI'S DEAD"Sisters of Mercy
"I HEAR EMPIRE DOWN"HIM
"WHEN LOVE AND DEATH EMBRACE"The Cure
"BOYS DON'T CRY"Nine Inch Nails
"HEAD LIKE A HOLE, BLACK AS YOUR SOUL"Evanescence
"WAKE ME UP INSIIIDE"
You like that they're symbols of death.Black cats
They represent evil forces at work, just like you.Venomous snakes
Not only your favorite animal, but also your favorite accessory. Who says "boa" has to mean one or the other?Rats
They remind people of the filth of existence, which you see everywhere you go.Your family dog
Dogs are totally goth, right? R-right?Vampire bats
You'd totally transform into one if you could.
You're not *actually* a vampire, but that can be our little secret.Slipknot shirt
Hot Topic's finest.Ankh necklace
The Egyptian symbol of eternal life, which is perfect for an undead being like yourself.Black lipstick
Every word that comes out of your mouth has to pass through ~darkness~ first.Parasol and fan
Satan FORBID the sun ever touch your perfectly sallow skin."Edgy" temporary tattoos
"You're SURE these wash off in the shower, right?"
You tried to dance in seven-inch platform boots at the local industrial club and promptly ate shit.
You didn't realize that anything more ambitious than shifting daintily from side to side would result in disaster. And, also, that DANCING ISN'T GOTH.You thought that Marilyn Manson was an Old Hollywood movie star.
Everyone else at the seance was like, "WHO INVITED THIS LOSER?"You burst into tears in an inappropriate place during an existential crisis and everyone laughed and was like, "Again?"
Wait, this still happens to you at least once a day because life is UNFORGIVINGLY CRUEL AND FULL OF TORMENT.You were supposed to go see a midnight screening of Rocky Horror with your friends, but got grounded for not doing your homework.
At least now all your cool goth pals won't know you're a V FOR VIRGIN.You tried to do a charcoal portrait of a vampire, but everyone in your art class mistook it for the guy from Fall Out Boy.
You haven't even listened to them since middle school! UGH.During a discussion of your favorite literature, you accidentally said you loved Ayn Rand when you meant Anne Rice.
You've never actually read either, so it was bound to happen at some point.
Nightmare Before Christmas
Aw, look at the cute little skeleton!The Crow
You model your everyday look on his badass leather trench coat/white makeup aesthetic.Nosferatu
To you, all other vampires are total poseurs.The Craft
They're JUST LIKE you, except you can't get the Ouija to spell anything but "GKLBH."The Birds
The birds represent the world's bloodthirsty forces trying to oppress your inner spirit.Mary Shelley's Frankenstein
You identify closely with a misunderstood monster forged from an oh-so-twisted world.
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