1. "Why doesn't anyone speak Hindi here?"
We're fine, thank you. Plus, if you start on how Hindi is our national language, we will school you.
2. "Why do you put coconut in everything you eat?"
Why did you never pay attention in geography class?
3. "Anna, can you give me some samburrr?"
IT'S PRONOUNCED SAAM-BAAR. OPEN YOUR MOUTH TO SAY IT THE WAY YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH TO EAT IT.
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4. "Why is there no live music scene in Chennai?"
Bro do you even Margazhi?
5. "Did you know Rajinikanth is actually Marathi?"
Maharashtra may have birthed him, but we have made him ours.
6. "Why don't you get good Pani Puri in Chennai?"
CLEARLY you've never heard of Sowcarpet.
7. "A.R. Rahman may be from Chennai, but his best work is in Bollywood."
Let's not forget you have Roja, Bombay and Alaipayuthey because they were first super successful in Tamil. Maybe give a listen to the rest of his discography while you're at it.
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8. "What do you guys even do for fun in Chennai?"
Wellllll there's actually nothing to do, apart from partying till 4 a.m.; driving along the East Coast Road, heading to Mahabalipuram for breakfast, to Covelong for surfing or to Pondicherry for a day; attending plays and photowalks; eating masala kadlai, maanga molagapodi and molaga bajji at the beach; and watching movies for ₹120. Oh, and did I mention we have several beaches in the city where you can watch the sun rise?
9. "Tea is so much better than filter coffee."
*Books you a one-way ticket to Darjeeling*
10. "You guys have nothing interesting to eat apart from idli and dosa."
Your ignorance may just be the reason you will miss out on some amazing Chettinad food, Dindigul biryani, bajji, paniyaram...
11. "I prefer Bengaluru to Chennai."
Tell us when you want to do an all-night pub crawl, and us Chennaiites would be glad to show you how.
12. "Chennai is so hot man, how do you even live here?"
You're so educated, how do you even ask questions like these?
13. "Technically, since you're from Madras it's okay to call you Madrasi na."
It's okay to end my friendship with you, na?
14. "Wait, what? Chennai had a Hard Rock Cafe and they never served alcohol?"
*Laughs nervously* Guys, let's just go to elite TASMAC, pick up booze and drink on my terrace?
