And now everybody put your keys in this bowl. #BadWeddingVows @midnight
"I guess I have to marry you since I can't have Harry Styles." #BadWeddingVows
I vow to never try to change you. No matter how old you are and how stinky your adult diaper is. #BadWeddingVows @midnight

So we're clear, a zombie apocalypse renders this contract null and void. #BadWeddingVows @midnight
I promise never to fake a pregnancy to keep you from leaving me. #BadWeddingVows @midnight
Even if blood comes out of your eyes or your ... wherever. #BadWeddingVows @midnight
I'm sorry.* #BadWeddingVows @midnight *Canadian wedding vows.
I look forward to emasculating you starting today. #BadWeddingVows @midnight
That'll do, pig. #BadWeddingVows @midnight
I vow to pretend I believe in the same stuff as you for as long as I can keep up the charade #BadWeddingVows
I must admit, I wasn't sure what you meant by catfished when we first met. But I guess I'm okay with it now #BadWeddingVows
I promise I'll always love you, as long as you don't turn into your mother #BadWeddingVows
#BadWeddingVows From the first day we met, at the family reunion, I knew you were the one.
If it's brown, I promise to always flush it down #BadWeddingVows