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    Bad Wedding Vows That Should Never Happen

    via #badweddingvows on Twitter. Thanks Midnight TV

    And now everybody put your keys in this bowl. #BadWeddingVows @midnight

    "I guess I have to marry you since I can't have Harry Styles." #BadWeddingVows

    I vow to never try to change you. No matter how old you are and how stinky your adult diaper is. #BadWeddingVows @midnight

    So we're clear, a zombie apocalypse renders this contract null and void. #BadWeddingVows @midnight

    I promise never to fake a pregnancy to keep you from leaving me. #BadWeddingVows @midnight

    Even if blood comes out of your eyes or your ... wherever. #BadWeddingVows @midnight

    I'm sorry.* #BadWeddingVows @midnight *Canadian wedding vows.

    I look forward to emasculating you starting today. #BadWeddingVows @midnight

    That'll do, pig. #BadWeddingVows @midnight

    I vow to pretend I believe in the same stuff as you for as long as I can keep up the charade #BadWeddingVows

    I must admit, I wasn't sure what you meant by catfished when we first met. But I guess I'm okay with it now #BadWeddingVows

    I promise I'll always love you, as long as you don't turn into your mother #BadWeddingVows

    #BadWeddingVows From the first day we met, at the family reunion, I knew you were the one.

    If it's brown, I promise to always flush it down #BadWeddingVows