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Bad Wedding Vows That Should Never Happen

via #badweddingvows on Twitter. Thanks Midnight TV

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And now everybody put your keys in this bowl. #BadWeddingVows @midnight

"I guess I have to marry you since I can't have Harry Styles." #BadWeddingVows

I vow to never try to change you. No matter how old you are and how stinky your adult diaper is. #BadWeddingVows @midnight

So we're clear, a zombie apocalypse renders this contract null and void. #BadWeddingVows @midnight

I promise never to fake a pregnancy to keep you from leaving me. #BadWeddingVows @midnight

Even if blood comes out of your eyes or your ... wherever. #BadWeddingVows @midnight

I'm sorry.* #BadWeddingVows @midnight *Canadian wedding vows.

I look forward to emasculating you starting today. #BadWeddingVows @midnight

That'll do, pig. #BadWeddingVows @midnight

I vow to pretend I believe in the same stuff as you for as long as I can keep up the charade #BadWeddingVows

I must admit, I wasn't sure what you meant by catfished when we first met. But I guess I'm okay with it now #BadWeddingVows

I promise I'll always love you, as long as you don't turn into your mother #BadWeddingVows

#BadWeddingVows From the first day we met, at the family reunion, I knew you were the one.

If it's brown, I promise to always flush it down #BadWeddingVows

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