If British political parties were Game of Thrones characters...

A satirical article in which I draw only the loosest conclusions and logical links I want to, in view of getting a laugh or a Retweet.

Conservatives: Tommen Baratheon

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Currently in power, but in real danger of losing it very soon. Brought up in a posh background and whilst not holding one of the richest names about, is clearly a puppet of the real money in the country and easily swayed by it. Also, pretty clueless.

Labour: Stannis Baratheon

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Present leader ousted his own brother to solidify his claim to power. Currently a lot more popular in the North. Finding it difficult to win over those who live beyond the wall. Ultimately only have a good shot at doing well due to the amount of money they borrowed.

SNP: Jon Snow

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Following recent events, everyone wants them to come south to help the rest of the country, but only really concerned with what's going on further north. Easy to see an alignment with Stannis emerging.

Liberal Democrats: Daenerys Targaryen

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A lot of ideals and a rich history in power, but a huge gap between then and now. Currently proving their inability to help govern a people that never elected them in the first place, but still probably the most attractive option around.

UKIP: Balon Greyjoy

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Once set the agenda for a story we cared about, but latterly has lost a lot of impetus. Very distrusting of anybody born outside of their little island. Very keen to take the country back to how it was before, when the iron price actually meant something the general population.

Plaid Cymru: Doran Martell

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Most popular in one of the most beautiful parts of the country with some good idea’s, but largely unconcerned with the rest of the nation. Also has a keen interest in not antagonising any other house/party.

Green: Tyrion Lannister

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Everybody likes them, but they have zero chance of ever winning. Optimistic, clever, and enjoyed a modicum of success but largely let down due to their size and following.

SDLP, DUP & UUP: Mance Rayder, Styr and Tormund Giantsbane

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Well versed at compromise, forgetting differences in view of a common good and finally getting things done. Can get fiesty though. Making lots of changes whilst most nobody in the capital even knows who they are.

Sinn Féin: Jamie Lannister

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Once a widely popular party with a military arm, now somewhat diminished but still fighting for what they believe in.

RESPECT: Petyr Baelish

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A one man party that made a lot of themselves on the back of a great war. Leader well known for switching allegiances. Could just as easily be one to watch for the future as one to watch slowly fade away.

Monster Raving Looney: Ramsey Bolton

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Endearing when a Misfit, but bat-shit crazy in power.