The 13th anniversary of Twilight, which released in 2008, just passed, so I decided it was the perfect time to revisit the most unhinged movie of my adolescence. As only a casual viewer of the movies (I watched them all once, a few years ago), the last time I saw Twilight was not through a critical lens. As a teen, I took everything at a very surface-level, face-value kind of way — if Bella was the same age as me, far be it from me to question her decisions!
Now that I'm an adult, watching Twilight is certainly...different. The movie is just as good (and mildly insane) as I remember, but looking at it from a more mature perspective, I couldn't help but question...well, nearly every minute of it, especially with a new sense of concern for Bella's safety. Below are 32 thoughts I had while watching Twilight as an adult, because sometimes, growth is realizing that the world's favorite vampires are kind of messed up.
1. First of all — Bella's mom sucks.
2. If the Cullens were looking to avoid gossip, WHY would they move to a small town?
3. The Cullen fit coordination — is it a choice? A coincidence? Does Esme go shopping for the kids and put them all in matching outfits?
4. Edward definitely could have just held his breath in biology and avoided all the drama.
5. Why does Charlie have a distinctly Southern accent?
6. Everybody needs to stop asking Bella how she likes the rain!
7. Also, Bella possesses a LOT of audacity to confront somebody she's literally met ONCE about what is or isn't their true eye color.
8. And for somebody who has had 108 years to practice his lying skills, Edward is not very good at it.
9. Why doesn't anyone seem to care about the guy who backs out in front of Tyler? The accident was clearly his fault.
10. Where does Carlisle have a medical degree from?
11. Is it not ringing any alarm bells for anybody that the entire foundation of Edward and Bella's closeness is based on Edward gaslighting Bella in all of their conversations?
12. Again, I have to ask — where does Esme get the Cullens' clothes?
13. Do all of the Cullens really need to be in high school?
14. How did the Cullens get away with being pulled out of school to go hang out outside every time the weather was nice?
15. Does Edward have a driver's license?
16. Someone needs to give me access to the behind-the-scenes photos of Robert Pattinson in Bella's dream scene with blood dripping down his chin, NOW.
17. Does Bella have no concern at all for her well-being?
18. Did Charlie never teach Bella about stranger danger?
19. Again, Bella, red flags! Are you not concerned that your BF just said he's "never wanted anyone's blood more in [his] life"?
20. How did Bella and Edward fall in love after literally three conversations?
21. I want to know what the Cullens talked about at lunch before Bella came along.
22. Edward definitely put on those sunglasses just to look cool and have a moment where he was feeling himself.
23. What does Edward like to watch on the giant TV in his room?
24. WAS THAT A STEPHENIE MEYER CAMEO?
25. Why is *CHIEF SWAN* encouraging his *17-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER* to go out on a Friday night with a literal *MURDERER* on the loose?
26. I want to know what Edward and Bella talk about at night!
27. Did the Cullens order custom-matching baseball uniforms?
28. WHY did Charlie allow Bella to leave the house in the dead of night — in a bad mental state — and DRIVE by HERSELF halfway across the country?
29. Why couldn't Carlisle be the one to suck the venom out of Bella's hand?
30. Is no one in Bella's life suspicious about how she keeps getting very seriously injured in the presence of just the Cullens, with no witnesses?
31. Those other two couples who were in the gazebo at prom before Edward and Bella got there definitely talked shit about them.
32. And lastly...if Bella had, I don't know, started therapy when she moved to Forks, there wouldn't even be a plot at all.
Twilight still hits — it's definitely a timeless movie, one that you can view with a new perspective when you watch it at different points in your life. What was once a film I watched for the sweet, indie-ish love story (and Robert Pattinson) without a second thought for any logistics or safety is now a film I watch only thinking of the logistics and safety (and Robert Pattinson).
When you rewatched Twilight, did your perspective change over time? Let us know in the comments!