People Are Sharing Their WTF Dates Stories, And I Can't Get Past The One About The Clown

    "He showed me all 200 of his Eeyore figurines and plushies."

    Recently, we asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to share the times their dates gave them the ick. These are their stories:

    1. "I met up with my date outside a Starbucks, and he immediately went in for a kiss that I dodged. Then, during the date, every few seconds he would say, 'you're so amazing,' despite barely knowing me.

    "Then he started talking about marriage and kids! He even asked me about my ovulation cycle and my periods and tried to kiss me again when I was leaving."


    2. "He was literally the perfect guy over text, and he seemed like everything I could ask for. When we met in person, his voice was even more high-pitched than mine."


    3. "His breath smelled like someone took a dump in his mouth. Obviously, I couldn't get past that."


    4. "My first and only Bumble date bragged about lying on his résumé, tried to guilt me into drinking more than I was comfortable with, and not so slyly dropped into conversation that the reason he chose the bar we were in was because it was a two-minute walk from his house.

    "He even went as far as to say, 'I bought your drink, the least you could do is come over.' I slapped $20 down on the counter, walked out, and deleted Bumble."


    5. "My date blew his nose into a dirty t-shirt he had sitting on his desk. I noped the hell out of there after that."


    6. "After a handful of dates with this lovely guy, we had our first sleepover at my place. About 10 minutes after he fell asleep, I was startled by what I can only describe as an exorcism. He began thrashing, moaning, and snoring all at the same time! I was already put off by the fact that he was a bad kisser; and this was just the final nail in the coffin."


    7. "I arrived on a first date with a guy at his favourite restaurant. It looked like he had been sitting there for a few hours already because there were empty drinks and two empty plates on the table.

    "He was visibly intoxicated, and as I sit down, he blurts out, 'Okay date number two, let's get this started.' I did not even say a word. I just left and never saw him again."


    8. "He claimed to be a 'professional psychic,' and yet, he seemed completely oblivious to the fact that we had zero chemistry, nothing in common, and I had absolutely no desire for a second date.

    "He wasn't creepy or overly pushy or anything, but he seemed genuinely surprised when I turned down the offer of a second date. All I could think was, 'Dude, you may be in the wrong career.'"


    9. "It was my very first date ever, and she kept telling me how many girls she'd slept with — basically, she was trying to make it obvious she was a lesbian. I mean, that was why we were on a date, but the constant mention just gave me the ick."


    10. "He was enrolled in clown college and he only listened to techno music. That was all I needed to know for any attraction to be GONE."


    11. "This guy and I had talked about how we liked sneakers, so he took me to a shoe store for our first date and tried to make me buy a pair of converse. Then we didn't end up going to dinner because he said that he decided he wanted to go to someone’s birthday dinner that he wasn’t even invited to; and said he would see me later at the bars. I said absolutely not."


    12. "He asked me my ring size and referred to himself as my boyfriend on our first date. It was way too much too fast, and I had a panic attack."


    13. "On a date with this guy, I noticed that for some reason every time he put his beer down, the mug was dirty from his hands. It was like his hands had gunk on them, and his glass was progressively becoming grosser. I couldn’t look at the glass because it was making me feel sick. We did not go on another date."


    14. "When I'm uncomfortable, I laugh as a nervous reflex. In the middle of a Bumble date with a guy I wasn't really vibing with, he grabs my hands and looks me dead in the eyes and says, 'Butterflies, right?' I looked away, and he goes 'I'll take that as a yes.' I never texted him again."


    15. "My date went to the bathroom and left the door open, and I caught a glimpse of him in the mirror literally smoking crack! Fortunately, I had a friend around who I messaged to call me with a fake emergency so I could leave."


    16. "On the drive back to my apartment, my date started talking about his body — how much time he spent in the gym, how much other men complimented him, how he was thinking of taking steroids to get bigger, etc. Nope. Never saw him again."


    17. "It was the first time this guy was taking me out, and he love-bombed me by gifting me one of his hoodies, two bags of my favorite candy, a stuffed animal, and a love note. He also told me he'd dreamt of me, and then on the way back to my place, he handed me his phone and told me I could 'do the honors' of deleting Tinder.

    "I texted him later that night to let him know it wasn't going to work out, and this man full-on tells me he has to go to the hospital because he's having a heart attack from me turning him down."


    18. "I was watching my date eat a burrito, which would've been fine and normal, but all of the sauce, beans, rice, and everything kept falling into his beard, and he didn't notice. He was eating it like it was his last meal, and I couldn't get past it."


    19. "My date started eating my food off of my plate; literally reaching over with a fork and stealing my fried rice. Not to be cute, just going for it."


    20. "Went on a few dates with a guy, and on one of those dates, he told me that he didn't believe in global warming. Never talked to him again."


    21. "Mid-discussion, my date repeated exactly what I'd just said but added a ridiculous, high voice and a head waggle. I immediately realized his first instinct upon having nothing to add to the conversation was to mock me, and I saw nothing in our future."


    22. "Six days into knowing this guy, we had an impromptu date by a river where we were pretty much alone. Everything seemed to be going well until he kissed me unexpectedly. It was the worst kiss I have ever experienced.

    "Not only did I feel his saliva all over my nose, he choked me, grabbed my bum, and proceeded to tell me that my lower body was 'really warm.' Feeling completely disgusted and extremely uncomfortable, I quickly excused myself and went straight home."


    23. "My date explained, in great detail, the plot of The Godfather to the point where he dismissed the server twice for trying to take my order. He said I needed to be educated. Needless to say, I've never wanted to leave a date sooner. He even tried to kiss me at the end of it!"


    24. "A date I had waited until *after* I ordered dinner to explain he was a vegetarian and he wouldn't be paying for my 'murder steak,' but would cover dessert. Later on, he also waited until we were already at the bar to mention that he was in AA and had been kicked out of every bar in town for bad behavior. There was no second date."


    25. "My date put ketchup on everything! I had to end things when he put ketchup on beef stew. I just couldn't bring myself to kiss a mouth that thinks mixing gravy and ketchup is acceptable."


    26. "When we went to dinner, we ordered an appetizer plus a separate entree with two sides for each of us. He cleaned his entire plate in less than five minutes, and I do mean cleaned. It was like watching a vacuum. I eat quickly, but he was done long before I was!"


    27. "I was sleeping over for the first time with this guy, and when it was time for bed, he began gargling like he was warming up his voice for an opera. Literally, he threw his head back and was going up and down octaves. That was our last date."


    28. "When this dude would kiss me, he'd make this pew pew sound. It was like this weird breathy sound. I still hear it in my head 20 years later. All I know is it drove me insane, and not in a good way!"


    29. "My date asked me to come back to his place, not for sex, but because he wanted to show me something really dear to him. He ended up showing me his Eeyore collection! He had about 200 Eeyore figurines and stuffed animals, and other Eeyore-themed things. He was really proud of them!

    "He told me how much he related to the character. I gently validated him and looked for a graceful escape. Then he said he hoped he passed the audition and that I'd contact him for another date. He did not; I did not."


    30. "There was a guy I really fancied until I watched him use a vape like a cigarette. Like, between his two fingers taking drags from it. Immediate ick!"


    31. "This guy from Tinder seemed great, so when he asked for a date, I said yes. However, before we could even get to that date, he felt the need to inform me that he wore a male chastity belt pretty much 24/7, and then asked me if I would be interested in being a third with him and his ex. Instant block from me."


    32. "My date turned off my music in my ~own~ car to plug his own in without any discussion. Ick."


    33. "I went to the washroom in the middle of our meal, and when I came back, I took a drink of my water. My date then tells me that there was a fly in my glass, but he'd picked it out with his fingers. I asked why the eff he hadn't told me that before I drank, and he said he 'didn't wanted to gross me out.' WTF."


    34. "There were a lot of red flags about this date that would have sent anybody running away, but I drew the line at this 30-year-old man talking to me in an actual baby voice."


    35. "The vibes were already off with this date, but I let him kiss me at the end anyway. He stopped mid-kiss and went 'boobies? boobies?' I appreciated the check for consent, but it gave me the ick so bad that I squeaked out a no and ran inside my house."


    Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.

    Tell us about the horrible dates you've wanted to run away from in the comments, and be sure to follow the BuzzFeed Community on Facebook and Twitter if you want to be featured in similar posts!