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25 High School Mascots That'll Make You Say "Wait, What?"

BUCKLE UP: They're all nightmare fuel.

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4. The Bombers (Richland High School, Richland, Washington)

Flickr: theslowlane

Richland is home to the Hanford nuclear site, which supplied plutonium for the nuclear bomb detonated over Nagasaki, hence why their symbol is a MUSHROOM CLOUD and why student chants have included "Nuke 'em 'til they glow!" and "Proud of the cloud!"

Get 👏 rid 👏 of 👏 this 👏

5. The Cornjerkers (Hoopeston Area High School, Hoopeston, Illinois)

cornjerkerapparel.com

Hoopeston is the "sweet corn capital of the world," and before modern machinery, corn had to be jerked off the stalk.

*giggles uncontrollably* 🌽🌽🌽🌽🌽

6. The Galloping Ghosts (Kaukauna High School, Kaukauna, Wisconsin)

kaukauna.k12.wi.us

There are a couple of stories about where this, uh, interesting nickname came from, but it officially stuck around 1940, when something totally normal and not-at-all-disturbing happened: A student covered himself and his horse in bedsheets and galloped onto the football field to deliver the game ball.

13. The Kewpies (David Henry Hickman High School, Columbia, Missouri)

My high school mascot was the Hickman Kewpie and there's not a photo of it online that isn't nightmarishly hilarious

^ This guy wrote horror films like You're Next and The Guest. I WONDER WHERE HE GETS HIS INSPIRATION. No one really knows where this mascot came from, but one legend says that a school secretary put a Kewpie doll on the basketball court before tipoff and both teams managed to play the whole game without knocking it over. Hickman won, so they kept the doll as a good luck charm. What this legend probably leaves out is that it was a cursed doll and the secretary was a witch.

16. The Millionaires (Williamsport Area High School, Williamsport, Pennsylvania)

wasd.org

This super-humble mascot dates to the late 1800s, when Williamsport had more millionaires per capita than any other city thanks to its successful lumber industry. It also refers to a historical section of the city called "Millionaires' Row."

17. The Nimrods (Watersmeet Township School, Watersmeet, Michigan)

nfhs.org

Back in the day, calling someone a "nimrod" wouldn't get you punched in the face; it was a nickname given to a "king hunter" — a person with the ability to track large prey and slay it singlehandedly.

19. The Orphans (Centralia High School, Centralia, Illinois)

classmates.com

Apparently, in the 1940s, a Chicago sportswriter noted that the boys' basketball team looked so shabby in their tattered uniforms that they looked like orphans. Oh, and don't worry, the girls' teams are called the "Annies."

22. The Spudders (Ridgefield High School, Ridgefield, Washington)

pinterest.com

Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew. Ridgefield was a hotbed for potatoes and prunes in the early 1900s, and the town decided on the former for its school mascot. Better than the Prunes, I guess?

24. The Wooden Shoes (Teutopolis High School, Teutopolis, Illinois)

scorestream.com

What is happening in Illinois? This one dates to 1932, when the basketball coach chose to honor a local shoemaker and Teutopolis's German* heritage.

*The Dutch made wooden shoes, so maybe they just confused that for Deutsch (German)? 🤔

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