Compost, compost, compost.

Tom Vellner • One day ago

What are the realities most people don't realize?

Tom Vellner • One day ago

Sleep tight. Don't let the snake plants bite.

Tom Vellner • One day ago

No more wine before bed, friends.

Tom Vellner • 5 days ago

Say goodbye to all that cleanup time.

Tom Vellner • 5 days ago

The only thing these soups are missing is the blanket you should wrap yourself in while eating them, TBH.

Tom Vellner • 8 days ago

"My wife just goes to sleep when she gets tired and it's the most impressed I ever am by anyone doing anything."

Tom Vellner • 15 days ago

For starters, kindness lengthens your lifespan.

Tom Vellner • 18 days ago

"My dentist just put some lip balm on me without asking?! I thought this was a dentist not a liptist."

Tom Vellner • 19 days ago

As if you needed more reasons to love them.

Tom Vellner • 19 days ago

They head straight for the landfill.

Tom Vellner • 21 days ago

"Some people my age have kids and I’m googling 'house plants that are impossible to kill' diversity is beautiful."

Tom Vellner • One month ago

Did someone say maple tahini dressing?!

Tom Vellner • One month ago

Mother Nature did not have to go this hard. But she did.

Tom Vellner • One month ago

"There are two drunk men outside my window and all they're saying is 'NO, you're MY best friend in the whole world' back and forth."

Tom Vellner • One month ago

It's time to let go of that expired sunscreen.

Tom Vellner • One month ago

"Does anyone else write things they already did in their planner just so you can cross it out and feel accomplished?"

Tom Vellner • One month ago

BRB, swapping my bed for a hammock.

Tom Vellner • One month ago

Take a deep breath, and begin.

Tom Vellner • One month ago

"I know, let's put stickers on every single piece of fruit sold in America!" —Satan

Tom Vellner • One month ago