17. The “Give Me a Job” Fave
Somebody has just got a job in which they could hire you for something and now you want to let them know just how witty and insightful you think they are. Cheapens the noble art of fave-ing. The equivalent of going to a “networking event” and laughing loudly at everybody’s jokes.
16. The “I Will Wait a Few Days and Then Reword This Joke and Pass It Off As My Own” Fave
15. The Self Fave
FAVOURITES AREN’T SECRET. EVERYBODY CAN SEE YOU FAVE-ING YOURSELF.
14. The Back Pat Fave
Hey, I saw you say a thing on Twitter to prove what a good person you are, and I will now fave it to prove that I am a good person as well! That’s my good deed done for the day.
13. The Accidental Fave
Oh god, you accidentally pressed the wrong bit on your phone and now you look weird.
12. The Acknowledgement of Praise Fave
11. The Acknowledgement of Subtweet Fave
“I’ve got my eye on you. I know you’re talking about me. And one day I shall have my revenge.
“Unless you weren’t talking about me, of course, in which case YEAH, I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT TWAT DID THAT EITHER.”
10. The Secret Crush Fave
On the one hand, this is how we do courtship now: sitting at the other end of a global communication network, silently fave-ing people’s mundane tweets in the hope that this will somehow convey the fact that you believe they are perfect, and you love them more than any person has ever loved someone, and that you truly believe that you could build a wonderful life together.
On the other hand, bit creepy.
9. The Just Bookmarking Something Fave
Solid. Practical. Useful. Dull.
8. The “This Conversation Is Over” Fave
I note that you just said a thing. I am not going to reply to it, because it is ridiculous. This fave is an acknowledgement that you said the thing, just in case you thought I missed it and decide to say it again. GOOD DAY, SIR.
7. The Hate Fave
The hate fave is one of the most refreshing, invigorating types of fave. An anti-fave, in many ways. Fave-ing things you hate is like collecting power-ups in a game of Super Mario Social Media Outrage World.
6. The Temporary Hate Fave
Better than the hate fave is the fleeting, quickly deleted hate fave. It’s nothing more than a warning — a swift, deniable way of putting someone on notice that you saw that thing they said. It’s like a quick glance at your nemesis across a medieval court. And three days later the Duke of Gloucester is found dead in the moat.
5. The Flirty Mutual Faves
You strike up a rapport with someone on Twitter, and the two of you spend the evening favouriting each other’s tweets back and forth and then you probably get married or something. This is brilliant when you are doing it. Although, it’s worth noting, nauseating when you see other people doing it.
4. The “I Spent Five Minutes Trying to Think of a Witty Response and Failed but I Want You to Know I Apreciated This” Fave
Science estimates that 74% of all faves on Twitter are this type of fave. At its worst, this fave is a grudging admission of defeat. But at its best, it’s an elegant dismount from a conversation that was enjoyed by all particpants.
3. The Blackmail Fave
A friend of yours has said something embarassing. You will both fave and screenshot this and keep it in case they ever decide to run for political office.
2. The Fave-ing That Tweet Where Piers Morgan Said “I Want To Die” Fave
Basically what the favourite function was invented for.