1. This was it. The crunch match. The match England had to win.
2. Everywhere was packed as the nation came out to watch the game.
4. Okay, some places weren’t packed.
5. There was SO MUCH PATRIOTISM.
8. The nation was READY.
9. We were reminded that England needed a win, and it didn’t matter if it was ugly.
10. ITV showed a weirdly emotional film about England players.
14. Wayne Rooney narrowly missed a free kick…
15. …and everybody was all like this.
Except they weren’t all dressed as crusaders.
16. Liverpool teammates Steven Gerrard and Luis Suarez were getting on really well.
18. Joe Hart was a commanding presence in goal.
19. It gradually became apparent that Uruguay were worryingly good at football.
21. Then Wayne Rooney rose majestically to… ah, shit.
22. Everybody’s mum was like this:
23. And then… Suarez scored. Because of course.
I mean why would you mark Luis Suarez?