Posted on Jun 19, 2014

Everything You Need To Know About The England Vs. Uruguay Match

Spoiler: may not have gone entirely as England hoped.

Tom Phillips

by Tom Phillips

BuzzFeed Staff, UK

This was it. The crunch match. The match England had to win.

Everywhere was packed as the nation came out to watch the game.

Instagram

Instagram

Okay, some places weren't packed.

Jessica Twentyman@jtwentyman Follow
Village bar rammed for England game, haha.
10:58 PM - 14 Jun 14 Reply Retweet Favorite

There was SO MUCH PATRIOTISM.

Louise Brealey@louisebrealey Follow
I AN WEARING ALL MY RED AND WHITE CLOTHES AT THE SAME TIME. #England
6:32 PM - 19 Jun 14 Reply Retweet Favorite

Even Peter Andre.

Some people got religion.

Mark Robinson@robboma3 Follow
C'mon #England #worldcup2014
6:10 PM - 12 Jun 14 Reply Retweet Favorite

The nation was READY.

Vine — vine.co

We were reminded that England needed a win, and it didn't matter if it was ugly.

IncrediblyRich@IncrediblyRich Follow
"This is not a beauty contest" - SCREW YOU, COMMENTATOR. I will watch this match however I please. #WorldCup
8:00 PM - 19 Jun 14 Reply Retweet Favorite

ITV showed a weirdly emotional film about England players.

Vine — vine.co

The musical omens weren't good.

Eric Freeman@freemaneric Follow
Uruguay's anthem is mad jaunty.
7:56 PM - 19 Jun 14 Reply Retweet Favorite

Flenalty Shootout âš½ï¸@flendog_Follow
Our anthem always sounds like we know we're going to lose. Especially compared to that jaunty little Uruguayan number. #flenslens
7:59 PM - 19 Jun 14 Reply Retweet Favorite

Gary@GaryTomWilliams Follow
It can't help our chances that every other country has a rousing or jaunty anthem and we have such a depressing lifeless dirge.
7:59 PM - 19 Jun 14 Reply Retweet Favorite

Wayne Rooney narrowly missed a free kick...

...and everybody was all like this.

Liverpool teammates Steven Gerrard and Luis Suarez were getting on really well.

Goal Photos@GoalPhotos Follow
Steven Gerrard goes into a challenge on Luis Suarez #LFC #ENG #URU #WorldCup http://t.co/jT9JMkpsL7
8:15 PM - 19 Jun 14 Reply Retweet Favorite

FIFA World Cup 2014@FastsportsHd Follow
It on! @luis16suarez vs Steven Gerrard. #ENG #URU #LFCworldcup
8:17 PM - 19 Jun 14 Reply Retweet Favorite

Joe Hart was a commanding presence in goal.

NW3Gooner@NW3Gooner Follow
Joe Hart after a routine goalkick
8:19 PM - 19 Jun 14 Reply Retweet Favorite

It gradually became apparent that Uruguay were worryingly good at football.

Sam Donaldson@threecliffsgold Follow
Current feeling watching England... #WorldCup2014 #EnglandvsUruguay #England #WorldCup2014#Worldcup #football
8:24 PM - 19 Jun 14 Reply Retweet Favorite

Important tactical questions were being asked.

Rihanna@rihanna Follow
ENGLAND whatchu gon do??!
8:23 PM - 19 Jun 14 Reply Retweet Favorite

Then Wayne Rooney rose majestically to... ah, shit.

Everybody's mum was like this:

Vine — vine.co

And then... Suarez scored. Because of course.

And everybody was all:

Chris Mann@digitalsausage Follow
Amazing Twitter reaction to Suarez goal. My thanks to @capnbobfrapples, @rickharwood, @flashboy & @jamesdeer.
8:44 PM - 19 Jun 14 Reply Retweet Favorite

At least the Scots were sympathetic.

Vine — vine.co

People started getting... grumpy with some of the players.

Cusack@Cusxck Follow
Rooney heat map:
8:42 PM - 19 Jun 14 Reply Retweet Favorite

England were on the ropes. Half time couldn't come quickly enough.

G10@_g10_Follow
Traditional half-time piss.
8:46 PM - 19 Jun 14 Reply Retweet Favorite

The deputy prime minister weighed in with a passionate, heartfelt tweet showing what a regular guy he is. Which went well.

Primly Stable@PrimlyStable Follow
Nick Clegg probably thinks England can lose and still become World Champions by joining forces with Germany.
9:02 PM - 19 Jun 14 Reply Retweet Favorite

The match restarted. Wayne Rooney continued not scoring goals.

We're going to be honest, we're not entirely sure what happened for the next twenty five minutes because we were watching through a haze of tears and beer.

Mark Davies@markxdavies Follow
This is painful enough to watch on Twitter. I hate to think what it's like in real life.
9:20 PM - 19 Jun 14 Reply Retweet Favorite

AND THEN IT HAPPENED. IT FINALLY HAPPENED. WAYNE ROONEY SCORED.

Exactly like everybody had predicted.

Jak Fuller@JakFuller7 Follow
Always knew ROONEY would do it
9:36 PM - 19 Jun 14 Reply Retweet Favorite

Rebecca Dougall@HeadRHSBath Follow
Because the nation always knew that Rooney had it in him - ahem
9:32 PM - 19 Jun 14 Reply Retweet Favorite

STEEZUS@yungareyan Follow
Always knew Rooney would score in the 75th minute
9:33 PM - 19 Jun 14 Reply Retweet Favorite

A nation dared to dream once more.

James O'Malley@Psythor Follow
ENGLAND ARE DEFINITELY GOING TO WIN THE WORLD CUP.
9:31 PM - 19 Jun 14 Reply Retweet Favorite

...And then Suarez scored again or something.

Scott Bryan@scottygb Follow
Hereâ€™s what just happened.
9:42 PM - 19 Jun 14 Reply Retweet Favorite

And a nation went back to crying bitter salty tears.

Ry @FxckRy_Follow
Suarez have me like
9:40 PM - 19 Jun 14 Reply Retweet Favorite

So, yes. We lost. Again.

Crap Taxidermy@CrapTaxidermy Follow
Roy Hodgson's all like...
9:41 PM - 19 Jun 14 Reply Retweet Favorite

Of course, there's still hope. England aren't technically out yet.

paul bassett davies@thewritertype Follow
Mathematically England can still win if aliens abduct all the other teams. #WorldCup
9:55 PM - 19 Jun 14 Reply Retweet Favorite

We just need this to happen:

Mario Balotelli@FinallyMario Follow
If we beat Costa Rica i want a kiss,obviously on the cheek, from the UK Queen.í ½í¸‚í ½í¸‚í ½í¸‚.
10:30 PM - 19 Jun 14 Reply Retweet Favorite

But we know what to do.

Carl Anka@Ankaman616 Follow
Right, shall we a get hammered then?
9:55 PM - 19 Jun 14 Reply Retweet Favorite

And it's not like we ever really cared about football anyway.

Richie Firth@RichieFirth Follow
Right. Cricket it is then.
9:52 PM - 19 Jun 14 Reply Retweet Favorite

Don't worry everybody. It'll be okay. It'll all be okay.

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