21 Life Skills Every Brummie Has Mastered

    Knowing that Pip's Hot Sauce improves any meal.

    1. Squeezing these all over our Frankfurt Market bratwursts.

    2. Being far too much of a coward to complain about the kids smoking on the 50 bus.

    3. Not having nightmares over our harrowingly real ice cream van warnings.

    4. Playing it real cool-like, when everyone says “PEAKY BLINDERS!” the moment you tell them where you’re from.

    5. Playing it equally cool over our incredible street art.

    6. Knowing that Pip's Hot Sauce improves any meal.

    7. Knowing to avoid the M6 at all costs.

    8. But being able to traverse the Spaghetti Junction blindfolded.

    9. NEVER turning down a balti.

    10. Reacting accordingly every time we remember Cadbury's has been sold.

    11. But also secretly still eating Dairy Milk when we think nobody's looking.

    12. Having the ability to hero worship the weirdest of places.

    13. Seriously. The weirdest places.

    14. Hiring a bike in no less than 106 easy steps.

    15. Making sure our roads don't get too cocky.

    16. Coming up with greatest ideas for our old buildings.

    17. Then watching on helplessly as the council smashes them all to shit anyway.

    18. We're good at letting people know about RAMP.

    19. Queuing for the Bullring escalator at Christmas a full month before we plan on getting to the top.

    20. Loving the hell out of each other.

    21. And most importantly, we've stopped caring – I mean COMPLETELY STOPPED CARING – what the rest of the nation thinks of our city.

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    Because it's our home. And we love it.

    Tom Cullen is the founder of "I Choose Birmingham", a free weekly email about the best things to do in Brum. Subscribe here.