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The Great Toilet Technology Wars

Toilets that analyze your poop? Toilets that can flush a cellphone? No matter what, check out the second video!

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  • Pure Flush Power: Toto Vs. St. Thomas Creations

  • Toto's Cyclone Siphon Jet System: As this "award winning" commercial proves, the Toto toilet has some serious muscle. It can flush a cellphone like it was a gum wrapper.

  • St. Thomas Creations' Quattro Flushing Technology: But St. Thomas went for the kill with this video. A bag of carrots??? Really? And that's not even the most impressive flush. Watching this brought back memories of SNL's famous "oops I crapped my pants" skit.

  • Winner: St. Thomas Creations

    You'll never have to worry...

  • The Smartest Toilet: Toto Vs. Twyford

  • Toto's Intelligent Toilet: Daiwa and Toto teamed up to make "The Intelligent Toilet" which is essentially an in home doctor's office, which you can use any time you sit on the john. It measures urine temperature, blood sugar, blood pressure and obesity and it has a function which individually records one year's worth of measurement data for up to four people in a household.

  • The Twyford VIP: Twyford hit back with the VIP (Versatile Interactive Pan) which fully analyzes your urine and poop for any signs of disease, AND WILL CALL SEND A MESSAGE TO YOUR DOCTOR FOR YOU!!! In addition, as you can see in the photo below, it has a movable seat - so it can double as a urinal. Only downside, it's still just a prototype.

  • Winner: Toto's Intelligent Toilet

    But when the VIP goes into production I'm sure it will be a contender.

  • The Best Bidet: Coco Vs. Toto

  • The Coco Bidet: The Coco Bidet fits right on top of your bowl and for about $600 you can have heated water spraying your crotch. Additional features include heated seats, auto flush, seat massage, auto lifting and lowering lid, built-in deodorizer, a hot air blow dryer, adjustable nozzles with different spray patterns, and convenient remote controls.

  • The Toto Travel Washlet: Although Toto has the "Washlet", which is a direct competitor to the Coco Bidet, they have gone one step further with the "Travel Washlet." That's right, a portable bidet.

  • Winner: Toto

    All around, Toto is the champion in toilet tech... and in case you need help with the Travel Washlet, it comes with instructions!