So you downloaded Tinder.
Maybe you are looking for love.
Maybe you're looking for something more casual.
Maybe you just want to see if anyone out there finds you attractive.
Whatever your reason is, you've selected some flattering pictures, written a tagline that accurately expresses your individuality and are now ready to swipe through some matches. Here are some of the primates you might run into out there in the wild:
1. Matches who have obviously mastered the delicate art of selfie-taking
2. Some matches who use intentionally unflattering selfies because they "don't take themselves too seriously."
3. And other matches who will have unintentionally unflattering pictures, unfortunately.
4. And matches who have upgraded to headshots.
5. And matches who haven't figured out the “Move and Scale” feature yet.
6. Matches who will make you play "Where's Waldo" to figure out which one they are in a group picture.
7. Matches with mind-blowing pick-up line messages.
8. And matches who just won't leave you alone.
How he sees it:
How it comes off to you:
9. Artistic-types who will let you know how art-y they are by using artistic black and white photos.
10. Well-traveled matches.
11. Yoga practitioner matches who tend to bust out their poses while traveling.
12. Matches who like to hang out with exotic animals.
13. And matches with dogs.
14. Outdoorsy matches who give the impression that they don't check their phone often because they are outside being all active and shit.
15. Marathoners/Tough Mudders/Color Runners.
16. And “Cult of CrossFit” followers.
17. Matches who seem to like to party.
18. And matches who probably party too hard for you.
20. Matches who are obviously way more successful than you are and aren't afraid to flaunt it.
21. Matches who aren't as good at Photoshop as they think they are.
22. Fake matches/Spam profiles.
23. Matches posing with an ambiguous child.
24. Matches who are too young for you.
25. ...and matches who are even younger.
26. Congratulations! You have a new match!
But it's someone you already know in real life and you non-seriously liked each other just to be funny.
And eventually you get bored and move onto another app.
Because you are so much happier being single.
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