I'VE GOT 2 FACEBOOKS SO I CAN LIKE MYSELF

Rising Epidemic of Americans Opening a Second Facebook Account. We Asked, 'Why?' The Responses Were...Varied.

Companionship

Kirk Sells / Via youtube.com

'See I don't have a lot of real friends out in the real world, I'm not really a guy's guy but don't know how to talk to girls. I just find it hard to be the man when we're face to face so my virtual identity's the one that I embrace...

I made myself a Facebook, nobody seemed to care :-)

So I made myself ANOTHER, yeah, I finally got a pair. Now I have a new best friend and I'm sorry to boast... ME.2 is the person that I like the most'

Unimpressive Personality Disorder

Kirk Sells / Via youtube.com

'I wouldn't say I'm verbose, or particularly articulate. My Type B personality certainly plays a part in it. But now with two accounts, you know, it doesn't really matter. If it's hate yourself or like yourself, I think I'll take the latter.

See my real life persona's just not that impressive, social media's the space where I get a bit aggressive. It's like I go from Zero to Hero when I hit the FB. I got a shrine in my closet to my boy Marky Z.'

Facebook Addiction

Kirk Sells / Via youtube.com

'I'm logging in and logging out, I'm like a lumberjack. Guess you could call me an addict 'cause the book is my crack. Updating my status such a crazy amount that it just made sense to make another account...

30 seconds: to make the right impression.

30 hours: my longest Facebook session.

Now I got 2 Facebooks, yo, take this down and write it. When (name withheld for anonymity) posts a post, then (name withheld for anonymity) is gonna like it.'

More Efficient Facebook Stalking

Kirk Sells / Via youtube.com

'They call me the virtual stalker, I'm booking late into the night. I've got my Cheetos by my side and my Wall Game is tight. A colon and parenthesis is how I do my smiling when I'm browsing through her pics I call it facial profiling.

I comment on every post, in which she was tagged. I had to make a new account cause my first one got flagged.

You might think I'm a creep, maybe a little bit perverted but that's how you get your rocks off when you're super introverted.'

New Age Bullying

Kirk Sells / Via youtube.com

'You guys (everyone) are all nerds and I'm the new age bully. 2 accounts so I can tease you and harass you more fully, then with a noogie a wedgie a suckerpunch or a swirly...

HA! YOUR PROFILE PICS MAKE YOU LOOK GIRLY!

Inside I'm insecure but I've got a tough exterior. Posting comments on your wall to make you feel inferior. And when you're feelin' the most like crap is when I'm at my best...

I wonder why I don't get any friend requests.'

Falsifying Identity

Kirk Sells / Via youtube.com

'Why did I make a fake account? It's real stupid obvious: the fact that I was 13 years of age was the cause of this. I wanted to impress a girl 15 years my senior, so for my profile pict I picked a picture of my weiner...

Now the thing that happened next, I wouldn't call it groovy. Who knew that if you flashed your dick you'd get 5 years in Juvy.

Now I'm finally gettin' out and I really learned my lesson. I'll never wang my weinus out within a Facebook session'

It's a Real Problem. Our Interviewees Speak Out...

Kirk Sells / Via youtube.com

Enjoy!

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