1. The teeth displayer:
"I stopped asking my coworkers how their weekends were after one had responded with, 'Not good, my husband’s teeth rotted and we had to spend all night at the dentist getting them pulled.' As if that wasn’t bad enough, she proceeded to pull out a pill container, open it, and say, 'They’re so gross. Smell them,' and tried to hand them to me. Nope."
2. The lazy laundry-doer:
"I once had a coworker who showed up to our office in a wedding dress. Like, an obvious white wedding dress with a crinoline and beading, the works. When our manager asked why she wore a wedding dress to the office, my coworker replied, 'I was out of clean clothes and didn’t feel like doing laundry.'"
—Lauren Emily, Facebook
3. The Freeze Pop enthusiast:
"It was a rare warm winter day, but the A/C in the office didn't adapt to the warmer temp and everyone was wearing sweaters. Since it's an HR faux pas to start taking clothes off, my co-worker remembered we had those colored frozen pops in the freezer (the kind you had on a summer day as a kid). So she proceeded to put several down her pants to cool herself off. It worked, but at what cost?"
4. The rogue flosser:
"I saw a coworker use his fingers to pluck out his beard hair, then bit the hair, and used it to floss his teeth in front of a number of other coworkers!"
5. The forbidden scissors owner:
"At a previous office, only two people had scissors: one coworker and our manager. Whenever a new employee asked who had scissors they could borrow, I would tell them, and then advise them not to borrow the manager's pair. They would of course ask why, and I'd tell them it's because I only ever saw him use them for two things: to snip open salad dressing packets, and to trim his nose hairs at his desk. They would always laugh and be sort of squicked out, but never really believe me until they saw it for themselves. Which they always did eventually, because his office had glass walls on two sides."
6. The paper clip washer:
"There was a lady who brought her little container of paper clips into the kitchen and washed them."
7. The actual gold-digger:
"Back when I was waiting tables, I had a coworker who would pick his nose. One day, he walked by a guest and wiped a booger across the guest's chair. The guest grabbed the back of the chair to sit down. It was like watching a horror story in slow motion."
8. The office supply thief:
"I used to have a coworker who would steal the pens and Post-It notes off of my desk and put them on her desk. Then she would proceed to transfer the bad pens that barely write over to my desk. I eventually got so fed up that I went and took my pens back and would put the nice pens and Post-It notes in the back of one of my drawers where she wouldn’t look. I won the pen battle."
9. The earwax eater:
"An old coworker once picked his ear wax and ate it. Me and my boss saw it unfold and looked at each other in horror."
10. The, uh, nature lover:
"A coworker of mine, among other things, brought in a live tree to our already tiny office (closet-sized) to work. She had cut it down from the side of the road. Also, she brought in a fish to work every day, and named it Swimmy Timmy. RIP Swimmy Timmy, you didn’t deserve to live in a water bottle."
11. The Troll doll fanatic:
"The woman in the cubicle next to mine collects Troll dolls. Every color hair. Hundreds. Every where. They even peer overtop into mine. There is barely any space on her desk for real work or even a computer. I think she does what she loves, and I respect that."
12. The self-groomer:
"I once had a coworker who would clip, file and paint her toenails at her desk even when there were clients waiting to be seen. She also had a seamstress come in during business hours and measure her for a dress. In her office. That we could see into. While people were waiting in the lobby to be helped. When she was eventually fired for doing personal things on company time, she filed a formal complaint with corporate because she didn't think she was doing anything wrong."
13. The tape waxer:
"Shortly after college, I did temp work at the front desk of a fairly prestigious company, and was paired with another temp receptionist who was keen on removing her mustache using tape, right at the front desk, all day, every day, for about 10 days — until she did it in front of the wrong client and was fired."
14. The five-minute farter:
"My old boss didn't know I was below him, as his 'office' was on a raised platform. I was quietly sorting through inventory when he suddenly kicked back his chair, bent over, and farted for like five minutes."
—Joy Michelle, Facebook
15. The side hustler:
"I had a coworker who ran an eBay shop on the side. She would package her orders at work, including using our employer’s shipping service and mail room to ship her orders. She saw absolutely nothing wrong with this when confronted about it. Even when she was fired, she didn’t understand what she did wrong."
16. The toenail clipper:
"I was one of a couple guys in a predominantly female office. During staff meetings, we would all crowd into the lunchroom to meet. One guy, who sat in the middle of the room, decided meetings like this were the perfect time to TRIM HIS TOENAILS!! The gals who could see this were appalled, but I was fine with it...he just made the remaining few dudes look that much better!"
17. The professional napper:
"Once, I went into my supervisor's office like five minutes before we opened to ask him a question, he was laying on the floor with a pillow and blanket with the lights turned off. He just said, 'I'm not here yet.' I work at a public library, btw."
—Mary Ellis, Facebook
18. And the very unsanitary napkin changer:
"At a call center — with shared cubicles as far as the eye could see — I had a coworker who changed her pad under her desk."
Now get back to work and try not to die inside!
Some responses have been lightly edited for length or clarity.