1. Welcome, leadies and jents!
2. Gents, you may wash your hands here.
3. How about a quick launch?
4. I’d like mine without cheese, thanks.
5. Chaineeeeeeeese takeout?
6. Moms makes the best moms.
7. EVERYTHING IS SO TESTY! YUM!
8. Past food is the best food!
9. Beep steak, medium rare.
10. Mmm, free cock.
11. Or maybe something stronger.
12. Nothing, NOTHING like a child bear to wash it all down.
13. For all you health freaks.
14. Room for dessert?
16. Foot in the mouth.
17. These guys will taste anything. ANYTHING.
18. Full Body Masaz.
19. Cut your child here.
20. Get your eybro perched.
21. Be careful. Naked people ahead.
22. Be very careful.
23. Who doesn’t like to sleep on these?
25. Apostrophes, people, apostrophes.
26. Can’t afford tuition?
27. CONGRATIONS, YOU PASSED!
28. Have yourself a nonmetallic, chemical new year!
Find more of these here.
- John Glenn, a pioneering astronaut and the first American to orbit the Earth, has died at 95. Godspeed, Glenn 🚀🇺🇸
- Trump has picked Andy Puzder, CEO of Hardee's and Carl Jr.'s and an outspoken critic of raising the minimum wage, for labor secretary
- Black Lives Matter — the protest movement born out of a desire to stem police brutality — has taken root across the globe.
- Mick Jagger is a new dad at age 73 and people have some things to say 👀