If you didn't know, Kinder eggs are 100% banned in the United States.

Knowing this, I, Tanya Ch*n, recently smuggled a duffle bag of illegal Kinder eggs across the Canada–U.S. border. For this reason, my identity has been protected.*

"Maybe these are banned because they're a lot of fun."
They are considered a "choking hazard."
*Even though my name and photo and probably SIN are so clearly on this byline. But I'm not taking any chances with the U.S. government. They play by different rules there, and Trump could be president. I want to be able to come home to my family.
Poor, poor Americans.
Annie: *is horrified*
*starts Change.org petition*