1. There is no strength or specialty of sunscreen that will protect you from a tan-turned-intense-burn on the job.
Paid 11 bucks for this bad boy #lifeguard #problems
2. You've also come to terms with weird ass tan lines.
3. That make you look like you're wearing your uniform even when you're not.
4. You've had to directly handle a poop or puke related incident at least once on the job.
Working at the pool today, I witnessed a boy poop on the pool deck and another child threw up within 5 seconds. Welcome to my life.
(And, FOR SOME REASON, people are unabashedly more gross in a public pool bathroom than any other public bathroom.)
5. You quickly learn that kids are dirty little monsters.
today a little kid took a poop on the bathroom floor at the pool. Guess who had to clean it up? #badluckbeca
6. And not only do little kids shit, they are LITTLE SHITS who don't respect your authority.
7. Kids are the worst. Period.
Working at a swimming pool is the only kind of birth control a woman really needs. #NeverHavingKids
8. If you've worked concessions, you know that people have ridiculous and unrealistic standards of pool food.
9. No matter what position you held, the best and worst perk was the concessions discounts.
10. (and if you didn't get discounts, you had that one friend in concessions who gave you the hookup ;-)
11. Your shifts started ridiculously early for, like, the TWO lap swimmers who insisted on swimming at 7 AM.
12. Which meant your night outs were always like:
When you're out and you realize you have to work tomorrow morning #LifeguardProblems
13. You spend 70% of your days putting away floaties and noodles.
14. You learn that people have no inhibitions about what they're exposing to the world.
15. You'll also learn that people lose all logic when they go to the pool.
16. You've seen your fair share of tattoos and piercings in all sorts of places...
17. In the summers, you had those sunbathers.... who showed up... every day... without fail.
They should have stopped 500 trips ago.
18. At least one person will complain to you about the heat, and you're like, "what did you expect, sir, you're at a pool."
19. You somehow find yourself there even when you're not on the schedule.
20. And doing your job even when you're not supposed to.
I just yelled at a kid to walk on the pool deck and I'm not even working #LifeguardProbs
21. You know that what people take into the water, doesn't always come back out with them.
22. You've seen everything that could ever happen in water and nothing phases you anymore.
23. But hey, as nauseating and aggravating as working at your local pool may be...
1st hour of work. Already dealt with cable not working for the TVs, Keys down the elevator shaft, poop in the pool. So glad it's my friday
24. At least you’re not working some horrible INDOOR job, wasting your sun and summer away.
25. Plus, you probably wouldn't have met your new dysfunctional pool family :).
