23 Signs Your Maple Syrup Obsession Is Out Of Control
Happy national maple syrup day! Please consume responsibly.
You might have a maple syrup problem...
If you've straight-up poured some syrup into red wine. And not hated it.
And feel sadness for those* who do not have access to pure EH-grade kind.
Because there are levels to this ish.
If you've looked a tree and been like, "I'd tap that."
If this maple syrup-coated buffalo wing with bacon bits makes your legs quiver.
And this maple pecan sticky bun is quickening your breath right now.
If this T-shirt is bible.
If you are literally Kate Wood.
If you've ever accidentally or intentionally used it as a medium for self-expression and art.
If your maple syrup has ever smiled back at you.
If you'll drink it straight, no chaser.
Or, at the very least, chase with bacon strips.
If you've ever ordered "maple syrup, with a side of waffle."
If there is not a single maple syrup product you have not and will not try.
If you are any of these people:
If you'll spend your entire life lobbying for their rights.
If this product titillates you even a little bit.
If some syrup spilled over in your baking tray, and you'd eat the paper.
IF YOU ARE DANIEL, WHO "DRENCHES ALL HIS FOOD IN MAPLE SYRUP — PIZZA, LASAGNA, CHINESE FOOD."
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