1. Umbridge: For when you just really can't stand that bitch.
"Guess who I ran into the other day!" *insert name*
"They are the definition of an Umbridge."
2. Dumbledore: When your friend is being a cryptic dickhead.
"So do you want to meet at the pub tonight or have pre-drinks at mine?"
"Well the answer you know, is hidden inside you. Love. The answer is love."
"Awesome answer Dumbledore, thanks you dumb fuck."
3. Gilderoy: For when someone says or does something unbelievably stupid.
"I actually think Chris Brown's latest album is really empowering!"
"Oh my god, you are such a Gilderoy."
4. Lavender: For when someone is getting on your last nerve.
"I see you got stuck talking to her for ages at the party last night."
"She is such a Lavender. I don't even want to talk about it."
5. (Moaning) Myrtle: For that friend who never shuts up about how hard their life is.
"I worked a whole six hour shift today, and I am just so exhausted, like it's so hard, then I had to do groceries, ugh my life is ridiculous, do I ever get time to just chill out?!"
"Your life is crazy Myrtle. Moan a bit more."
6. Pettigrew: For that backstabbing hoebag in your life.
"She was bitching about me over text, so I confronted her and she totally lied!"
"That's such a Pettigrew move."
7. Molly: For that one pal who is always quick to fly off the handle.
"I was late for dinner last night and *insert name* went totally Molly on me."
8. Pansy Parkinson: For when your acquaintance is just constantly in bitch mode.
"She went Pansy on me yesterday for being two minutes over deadline."
"She's always full Pansy though, let's be real."
9. Ron: For when you have a constantly jealous friend.
"I got 98/100 on that quiz! How did you go?"
"Well of course you did. Don't even worry about it. You always do well. Everyone loves you. Just leave me alone."
"Channel Ron Weasley a bit more."
10. Greyback: For that person that gets irrationally angry after drinking.
"It got to about midnight, then he went all Greyback on my ass."
"Standard though. Give him more than two drinks and he will always transform to being a Greyback."
11. Neville: For the friend who forgets EVERYTHING.
"What do you want for your birthday?"
"It was my birthday two weeks ago."
"Neville move bro."
12. Percy: For that person who always has to be better than you.
"So yesterday, this poor old dear dropped her wallet, so I picked it up for her and..."
"WELL, yesterday I helped an old dear cross the road, bought her a coffee, carried her bags onto the bus for her and gave her the last $10 in my pocket because she didn't have enough for the fare."
"Okay then Percy."
13. Hermione: For your know-it-all friend.
"I read the other day nearly 10% of people are left-handed!"
"Actually, it's closer to 11% if we're being exact here."
14. Haz Potter: For that angsty teen inside all of us.
"Hey man how was your day?"
"FUCK OFF. What a bloody idiotic question. Do you even know how HARD it is to be me sometimes?"
"Chill out Haz Potter."
15. Slughorn: For the social climber in your life.
"Feel like coming to this party with me on Friday night?"
"Who's going to be there?"
"The usual crowd!"
"Urgh no thank you, I don't hang out with peasants."
"Suit yourself Sluggy."
16. Sirius: Your rebellious friend who always tries to lure you into trouble.
"I'm bored. Let's go throw rotten eggs at your ex's house, then douse their car with off milk!"
"That's such a Sirius idea."
17. Luna: Your spacey friend who randomly goes off on tangents that don't always make sense.
"Hey, want to catch up for coffee later?"
"What would you say the meaning of life is without coffee? Would we exist? Do we even exist?"
"So I now understand what Luna Lovegood thinks, but do you still want coffee or not?"
18. James Potter: For your nice, but rather egotistical buddy.
"Hey buddy! Want to kick the football around later?"
"Sure. As long as you're prepared to lose. Every single time. Because I'm the best."
"Standard answer from James Potter over here."
19. Snape: For your moody co-worker, who bottles up their emotions.
"So sorry to hear of your break-up. How are you doing?"
"I am fine. I feel nothing. Get back to work."
"Well if you need to talk you know where to find me. Don't be a Snape though, you saw how that worked out for him in the end."