1. Dressing for a beautiful, sunny, 27 degree day, and then having the apocalypse hit by mid-afternoon.
Melbourne weather fucking me up. It was 11 degrees yesterday and now it's 27. What do u want mate.
2. Hitting the pub when you're 18 and asking for the house goon.
3. Yelling out, "Nice fucking indicator, dickhead!" every time you're driving.
"Nice indicator dickhead!" - Ancient Australian Proverb
4. Lying to every tourist about raising a baby kangaroo and riding it to school.
5. Hearing the same joke about never being able to afford a home every time you indulge in some smashed avo.
"Smashed avo, won't be able to afford a house HAR HAR HAR!" Right up there with the dickhead that yells "Taxi!" when a drink is spilt.
6. Thinking you don't need sunscreen for a mild-weathered day and coming home as red as a lobster.
7. Dodging trees during spring.
8. Never fully understanding, or getting used to, who the prime minister is.
things to google every morning: - is Ian McKellen still alive? - who is Australia's prime minister today? - have the machines won?
9. Going to a hardware store to get a tasty fix for your hangover.
10. Finding out your favourite band/musician is touring, only to realise Australia hasn't made it on their list.
11. Never being able to find one of these bad boys in summer.
12. Having a dozen Triple J Hottest 100 parties to attend, then choosing the place with either air-con or a pool.
13. Getting into a passionate debate about whether it's called a potato scallop or a potato cake.
This country will never be united if we can't reach agreement on potato scallop or potato cake. It's scallop btw
14. Arguing about whether AFL or NRL is the more superior sport.
Let's have a plebiscite on whether AFL or NRL is better #auspol #alternateplebiscite
15. Using a whole can of Mortein to get rid of a dangerous intruder.
Spider outside my window. Named him Morty on account of all the Mortein i pumped him with 🕷💉
16. Finishing uni and applying for a post-grad job, but getting knocked back because you need at least two years experience.
17. Checking your HECs thinking you've nailed it and don't have far to go, only to find out you're still in massive debt.
18. Throwing away your life savings on a trip to Europe.
19. Visiting a country town and always being directed to the local bakery.
If you ask any Australian how their trip to a small country town was, the first thing they'll say is "yeah good, we found this nice bakery"
20. Then dealing with national travesties like this.
21. Dodging spoilers for your favourite TV show until you can finally go home and watch it.
Me: Man, more spoilers? The internet: If you don't have 36 straight hours to watch a TV show just log off or perhaps die Me: Damn okay
22. Spending Christmas drowning in a pool of your own sweat.
23. Literally not being able to touch your steering wheel if you parked your car outside on a hot day.
24. Showing off your thong tan.
25. Falling asleep and hearing the annoying buzz of a mozzie in your ear.
when you tryna sleep but mosquitos are getting the best of you😂😂😂😂
26. Going on a Macca's run only to find the soft-serve machine is down.
Felt like a McFlurry drove to maccas and the ice cream machine wasn’t working