1. Hi UK. I was watching Broadchurch the other day (excellent show by the way), and this atrocity caught my attention.
I was like, "what in the fresh hell?!" then immediately Googled what this was. Before you get mad and start yelling that Scotch eggs are the best thing since a nice cup of tea, I just wanna say... please look at the description from my point of view. "A Scotch egg consists of a hard-boiled egg wrapped in sausage meat, coated in bread crumbs and baked or deep-fried." WHO. THOUGHT. OF. THIS?!
2. So UK, let's sit down, have a chat, and talk about your food choices.
3. Like, we need to talk about whatever the fuck is happening here in this sandwich.
4. I first learned about haggis when reading Harry Potter. Sometimes I wish I never read that part.
5. What is this plate of sadness and more sadness?
6. I need you to explain this meal to me, and the thought process behind it.
7. I also need someone to try and explain this to me before I report it. It's a joke, right? Right?
8. I don't... I... words have failed me.
9. You have something called "spotted dick sponge" that comes in a can, and I just don't think that's ok. I don't think you're ok.
10. Then you ruin a great old fry-up with black pudding... A TYPE OF BLOOD SAUSAGE.
11. You really have a knack for doing weird things with eggs, huh?
12. OK, you guys are just fucking with the rest of the world now, right?
13. Is this... meant to pass as a meal?
14. You lost me (once again) at the description of this: A semi-hard cow's milk cheese.
15. This is apparently a food you enjoy, known as jellied eels.
16. Do you have to add the Sav Blanc in the hopes that you'll get drunk and forget whatever travesty you just ate?
17. And finally, your need to combine foods to make them even weirder, is just so bizarre.
