1.
2.
Same
3.
I love the line "self-proclaimed feminist". Most feminists are self-proclaimed, it's not like Hogwarts where they give you a letter to let you know. "Yer a feminist Harry" #IWD2018 https://t.co/Dgl2GyR47Y
4.
Him: choke me Me:
5.
somewhere nearby is a party full of exasperated raccoons like 'where's stacey gone now, she shouldn't drink gin.'
6.
Personally nothing makes me relax more than a man telling me to “just relax”
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"LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE." commands the small cushion. You whisper "I'm trying" but that only makes it angrier
8.
me: a man just - - - man on twitter: IT WOULD BE DIFFERENT IF HE WAS HOT YOU HAVE DIFFERENT RULES FOR GUYS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE
9.
"australia has no culture" explain this then
10.
I call this artwork "Australian TV"
11.
Scooby Dooby Doo Where are you? And I’m so sorry I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight
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Sad news. I've just heard that the bloke who invented predictive text has pissed away. His funfair is next monkey.
13.
Not responding to a friend request from someone I went to high school with who never gave me the time of day is my more sophisticated version of hiding behind the oranges when you see them at the supermarket
14.
How would I rate Southern Cross Tattoos? Five stars.
15.
when i run into old emo friends they all work in property and have a family now and i'm like "oh cool, i'm still fetishising my own sadness"
16.
Adam, 26, gaslights u at every house party, asks how you learned about such good music halfway thru your DJ set, insists rollies are better https://t.co/JDZldJnpLG
17.
Trump’s listening session notes: extended mix
18.
FUCK YEAH MAN JUST STOPPED ME OUTSIDE THE WOMEN’S BATHS AND ASKED ME WHAT IT IS I SAID IT’S AN OCEAN POOL AND SUNBAKING SPACE JUST FOR WOMEN HE ASKED WHY WE NEED IT I SAID GO READ A HISTORY BOOK OR A FUCKING NEWSPAPER GOOD DAY
19.
I’ve found it. The most amazing ‘what about men’ of all time.
20.
My steps to maintaining a perfect uber score 1) 'how was your night? Have you been busy?' 2) 'have you been an uber driver long? Oh awesome so it's going well?' 3) 'oh where do you live. Oh I'm sorry pakenham is so far 5 stars for you 4) silence
21.
If the guy next to me pays for drinks with bitcoin, I should be allowed to make purchases with monopoly money. I worked long and hard for that monopoly money. A lot of tears.
22.
“One day my son, all this will be yours” I say to my cat, gesturing grandly to my wide array of mental health problems
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24.
The annoying thing about ‘When Doves Cry’ is that they never give you an actual example of what they sound like.
25.
ahhh disney's classic film, 'Being A Woman On Twitter'
26.
Guy: A woman can be assaulted even if she doesn't say 'No'?? That's so terrifying! Me: Yeah, it's so scary that we sometimes don't feel safe enough to freely communicate our non-cons- Guy: FOR ME! That's so terrifying FOR ME.
27.
Uber: “Oh you’re not going far, you could’ve walked!!” First of all, I’m lazy.
28.
Is it ok to do the lady and the tramp thing with ur dog and a bowl of mi goreng
29.
