Buzz·Posted on Jun 22, 201921 Tweets About Ordering Food That Are All Of Us*at a restaurant with a baby* Separate checks, please.by Tabir AkhterBuzzFeed StaffLinkFacebookPinterestTwitterMail 1. baby jeff @nintendoesnt waitress: i’m sorry your food is taking so long! me: *presses forehead against hers* listen to me. i know it’s not your fault. i love you. i am tipping you 80%. 12:52 AM - 29 Apr 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 2. gary from teen mom @garyfromteenmom *at a restaurant with a baby* separate checks please 06:40 PM - 30 Mar 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 3. Terry F @daemonic3 My daughter said her English class requires 1,000 pages of summer reading so we went to The Cheesecake Factory and I handed her a menu 10:09 PM - 01 Jun 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 4. Rads @FeelingEuphoric torn between getting chinese food for dinner and just fucking dying 10:37 PM - 23 Oct 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 5. alien skier 👽👽👽 @clichedout [ordering from the dollar menu] me: hi i'll have 7 dollars please 01:30 PM - 12 Mar 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 6. Bret Turner @bretjturner BEFORE HAVING KIDS: "I am NEVER making separate meals for my children" 4 YEARS LATER: "Let me repeat your order: tri-color pasta (al dente) with butter & cheese on a bed of string cheese on a fairy plate, cup of water with star-shaped ice cubes, yogurt two ways, Cheez-Its." 12:43 AM - 15 Aug 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 7. Mi @remigiomia I went through the chick fil a drive through bawling and the girl asked me if I wanted a chocolate or vanilla milkshake. And I was like no I ordered a sweet tea and she goes “no honey you need a milkshake” Service: unmatched 11:15 PM - 23 Oct 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 8. Andy Ward @adubjose me: hello... yes, one salad please salad person: of course.. your total is $17.82 me: yes.. and .. that seems perfect and normal.. may i have a drink? salad person: yes.. and.. your total is now $23.88 me: yes and thank you very much this is reasonable and great 05:34 PM - 10 Jan 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 9. GoaT FacE @EndhooS Parmesan Sir? "Yes please" Say when. *Grates Parmesan* Sir? "..." *Grates fingers* SIR? "..." *Grates entire hand* Please...I have a family. 10:11 AM - 08 Jul 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 10. Anna Silman @annaesilman my friend is the chef at an extremely fancy nyc restaurant and this is an order he received today 11:22 PM - 27 May 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 11. Josh Gondelman @joshgondelman My 94-year-old great aunt changed the game by ordering “grapes for the table” at a restaurant. 08:15 PM - 23 Nov 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 12. the pan-midwesterner @panmidwest [chick-fil-a] EMPLOYEE: can i take your order? ME: yes, thank you for asking EMPLOYEE: my pleasure ME: and thank you for saying it was your pleasure EMPLOYEE: please don’t do this ME: oh i’m just getting started 02:32 PM - 13 Mar 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 13. Josh @iwearaonesie me: Can you swing by Taco Bell? guy driving the ambulance: 01:21 AM - 14 Feb 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 14. the garbage shit boy @davedittell waiter, there's a reflection of a sad and lonely man in my soup 04:35 AM - 11 Mar 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 15. Ramsay Merbert @4anno I guess I prefer Subway because they make me feel like I'm making the healthy decision when I order a loaf of bread with 18 meatballs on it. 02:30 PM - 13 Feb 2012 Reply Retweet Favorite 16. lei🍦🏳️🌈🍦LGBT Wrath @ggleivy me @ $2 sandwich: It’s affordable but is it filling? If it’s filling, will it provide me with enough satisfaction? What is the nutritional value of this...? Maybe I should save my money... me @ $4.75 coffee: mmm cofy 10:32 PM - 09 Dec 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 17. emba @unofficialemba Whoever thought of appetizers was literally like "we should pregame this food w more food" and I think that's really beautiful 12:39 AM - 06 Dec 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 18. eel @trashaneel me: hey put pineapple on the pizza everyone: 01:03 AM - 06 Feb 2016 Reply Retweet Favorite 19. Jessica @jessnpadron Me at Olive Garden looking at the menu knowing damn well I’m getting Chicken Alfredo 04:35 AM - 11 Apr 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 20. Ally 𝖌𝖆𝖙𝖔𝖗🐊🏳️🌈 mostly dog pics now @notacroc Waiter: and for you? Me: *after rehearsing in my head for 15 minutes* the chimney changas 04:51 PM - 15 Jun 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 21. Kellen @captainkalvis me: i'd like to make a reservation for 2 at 6:00 pm employee: sir, this is a McDonald's me: oh my bad. i'd like a McReservation for 2 at 6:00 pm employee: perfect, see you then 12:31 AM - 16 Jan 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite