Buzz·Posted on Jul 7, 201942 Tweets That Were So Hilariously Funny, They Got More Than 100K RetweetsIncluding the classic, "If I pay $40 for a haunted house I better die."by Tabir AkhterBuzzFeed StaffLinkFacebookPinterestTwitterMail 1. chris @skatehair i’m not gonna ask you again, what the fuck is in your mouth 10:32 PM - 28 Jun 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 2. Joshua Michael Lim @ihave2mums 4 Pictures 1 Story 04:07 AM - 22 Jun 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 3. AMP @alygat My husband sent me this, saying that our cat refuses to move, so his ear is now an `enter key` 07:16 PM - 13 Jun 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 4. あかり(AKARI) @Babyshoujo Saw a thicc ass starfish at the aquarium today 😌 08:31 PM - 30 Jun 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 5. september22 @hodgesboi15 If I pay $40 for a haunted house I better die 02:51 AM - 12 Oct 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite 6. Lauren || 𝕸𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖓 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊 𝖇𝖔𝖙 @Avonleaambition “you think you can do these things nemo but you just can’t!” 04:26 AM - 05 Jun 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 7. ANDREA @dreeaaxo_ So it was my cousins 3rd birthday and instead of having a normal theme she chose this 12:33 AM - 05 Jun 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 8. sarah ♡ @sarahhollidayyy never forget the time my brother missed the bus and wrote my mom this note 05:03 PM - 04 Jun 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 9. ♡ Adorable @SuperAdore You get 3 wishes https://t.co/1FxzTHCk6b 07:12 PM - 29 Jun 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 10. stella donnelly stan @youngandjoven Can someone write an article on millenials killing the doorbell industry by texting "here" 12:17 AM - 03 Jun 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 11. Tree🌲 @treejacksonn me, low on iron: my vision when I stand: * * . * . * . * . * . * . . * * . * . *. . *. . * * * . *. * . . * . * . 02:57 PM - 20 Feb 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 12. jodie @jodieegrace do you ever catch yourself being mean for no reason and you’re just like???? go take a nap????? 12:26 AM - 09 Jan 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 13. Judy @judith_ism Now........that’s fashion 05:26 PM - 31 May 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 14. Ivy ☁️ @ivywintxrs So I painted my birth control packet. 04:51 PM - 31 May 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 15. Dr. Glaucomflecken @DGlaucomflecken Honestly my take away from this chart is that donuts are healthier than I thought https://t.co/VCs5ZCPQqE 02:56 PM - 27 May 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 16. Amanda @_MANDYNEXTDOOR Avon Targaryen. https://t.co/55aBc8P0uD 08:04 AM - 22 May 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 17. Casey McCormick @itsmeCaseyMc Today I thought I saw a woman dressed as a handmaid about to jump from a building. I called 911. 03:24 PM - 21 May 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 18. Lord Flocko 🐦 @Apex_sH My niece has her bird trained to attack anyone she screams at 😂😂😂 09:27 PM - 30 Apr 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 19. Ehhhhhh @mewtailv2 My sociology professor keeps an alphabetic list of new slang terms he learns from students and I will never get over it 06:25 PM - 30 Apr 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 20. χισмαяα🦋 @xiomara_gomez18 The shit I have to deal with🤦♀️😂 08:42 PM - 21 Apr 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 21. royse @Roysenotes my sister saw two unaccompanied little children in a trench coat giggling amongst themselves yesterday and i am absolutely howling 10:09 PM - 15 Apr 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 22. matt @poastsbymatt *using Ouija board* "hello, is there anyone there" *Y* *O* *U* *U* *U* *U* "ah damnit this is a Soulja board* 07:29 PM - 20 Jul 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 23. Azeem @_azeem87 He Sent Her A Meme On Instagram But She Already Saw It On Twitter - Rupi Kaur 04:34 AM - 06 Apr 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 24. Dirt Road Queen ♡ @DirtRoadQueen__ The most important thing you’ll see today 09:47 PM - 29 Mar 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 25. KATY PERRY @katyperry This what I meant https://t.co/68ptvsporn 06:05 PM - 18 Mar 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 26. lemonard mouth @avantnard socrates: to do is to be plato: to be is to do scooby: do be do 07:29 PM - 13 Mar 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 27. rudy mustang @rudy_mustang this is our farm dog Captain. he points at the chickens every day and we don’t know why lol 01:05 AM - 12 Mar 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 28. alex @alxjasper let her perform her spells in peace https://t.co/DFA1GxTvZu 01:08 AM - 05 Mar 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 29. United Nathans 🏳️🌈 @heyyy_sus Me leaving the house without eating breakfast, dehydrated, and with 2 hours of sleep 06:12 AM - 04 Mar 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 30. - @59912111a at the gym i said subscription instead of membership and the girl replied with 'lol this isnt a pharmacy'. bitch thats a prescription were both stupid 08:09 PM - 15 Aug 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 31. ᎶᎥᏞᏞᎬᎽ @TraeGilley Me checking my bank account and calling my friends to make plans anyway 06:43 PM - 05 Jul 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 32. $lime @slimedisciple RT if u love keanu reeves 06:49 PM - 29 Jun 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 33. Neyda🥀 @wolfyneyda do u ever wanna take a nap but the nap doesn’t wanna take u 06:11 PM - 06 Apr 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 34. ً @StussyTheGoat brain: break it me: why? brain: you gotta 04:27 PM - 14 Aug 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 35. aliah @shitaliah this is how lil kids cough 07:23 PM - 03 Dec 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 36. Markus Gilliland @markusanthony17 obtuse rubber goose green moose guava juice giant snake birthday cake large fries chocolate shake https://t.co/mO9yYHXjYx 06:55 PM - 27 Jun 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 37. Ray @rayy_baybay Thanks for the clarification, Dad. 12:48 PM - 21 Jul 2017 Reply Retweet Favorite 38. 𝙉𝙞𝙠 @stfuIol me when someone tries to get to know me https://t.co/M7bQWioKe7 11:27 PM - 21 Jun 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 39. jas @jasmynbuduan when tinkerbell started dying because she didn’t get enough attention...... i felt that 08:32 AM - 11 Aug 2018 Reply Retweet Favorite 40. Klutch @KlutchGame So we had to put a cone on my dog again. My cat loves it 09:41 PM - 28 Jun 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 41. Dak @RidiculousDak My money as soon as I earn it 01:21 AM - 28 Jun 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite 42. 𝖿𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖿𝗂𝗏𝖾 𝗌𝗂𝗑 @wybmf Beyoncef https://t.co/HE7Iuqla0O 06:37 PM - 30 Jun 2019 Reply Retweet Favorite