What Will Cure Your Hangover Right Now?
If everything feels bad right now, that's because it is. But the good news is that everything will get better. You just need to rehydrate and sleep it off. By this afternoon, you'll be fine.
You're feeling rubbish right now, but festering in your flat for an entire day isn't going to help anyone. You need to put on a brave face and tackle the day.
You need to forget that diet and consume as many greasy chips as you can possibly manage. Fatty foods are the only thing that are going to cure this killer hangover.
You're probably not capable of cooking right now, so you need to locate your closest greasy spoon and order as much fried food as possible. No one is judging you.
Eating greasy food at this time in the morning is only going to make you feel worse. But going outside is overly ambitious. There's only one answer: sex.
You're not going to be capable of leaving the house today, and you need to accept that. Locate your phone, call your local Chinese and order as much as you possibly can.
Man up. You may feel bad right now, but wallowing in self pity isn't going to help anything. There are more parties to attend, more people to meet and more booze to drink. Get on with it already.
You're a bit upset today. But that's OK. You need to call your mum, or find a friend, and have a good old cry. Just know that everything will feel better in the morning.
Right now, it seems like showering will be unreasonably painful. But that's just not the case. As soon as you've washed the night away, you can forget it. And you need to.