1.
Me: I look great today Fluorescent lights: I can fix that.
2.
Always a bridesmaid, never a new world-order leader in a post-apocalyptic all-powerful matriarchy. Sigh.
3.
"Nobody cares," typed the guy who cared so little he took time out of his day to reply "nobody cares" to my free joke on the internet.
4.
If you think you have a stupid question, just remember NASA engineers once asked Sally Ride if 100 tampons were enough for a 7 day mission.
5.
"Smile more." - men, to the Mona Lisa
6.
Some guy actually thought this tweet, opened his Twitter app, typed it out, and clicked publish. Wow.
7.
Beyonce smiling next to Chris Martin is every woman who's ever had to momentarily dim her shine to work alongside a mediocre man #SB50
8.
Behind every strong woman is 5 other strong women who proofread her email real quick when they had a second
9.
'Do I @ her' - short guide. β«οΈwas what she said a joke? β«οΈif yes did you understand it? β«οΈbro are you sure β«οΈbro
10.
him: "i need space..." me:
11.
lol.
12.
boy: i wished girls liked sports girl: i like sports boy: oh yeah name the blood type of the seahawks coach from the 1990s
13.
When will some brave soul make a movie chronicling a young man's quest to have sex-until then we'll all just have to wonder what that's like
14.
'WAKE UP PRETTY' v. 'EXPLORE YOUR FUTURE'
15.
are you even a girl if you don't tell people you're wearing jeans and a nice top ????
16.
Found out I have "resting woman face" which makes everyone feel the need to explain things to me
17.
going to bathroom to check if your period started even tho you know it hasnt = refreshing your inbox even tho u know theres no new emails
18.
Always wondered if the inside of celebs bags look like the inside of mine
19.
at every book event there's always one old white guy that says "this is more of a comment than a question........"
20.
Birth control pills are like cute little advent calendars for a really shitty holiday.
21.
cool thought: if aliens came to Earth and just watched our movies & TV shows, they would assume women are a minority
22.
I saw the "Grab Her By The Brain" hat and decided to create my own version
23.
If you're new to dating men, here's a tip: you're going to hear a lot about the music that was important to him when he was growing up
24.
I can't think of anything that's better summed up what it's like to be a woman π
25.
Wait is this the mansplainin emoj π£π£π£π£π£π£π£π£π£π£π£π£π£π£π£π£π£π£π£π£π£π£π£π£π£π£π£π£π£π£
26.
Turns out I've been wearing the wrong sized bra!!! I should have been wearing one that was much bigger and had no straps and is pajamas