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24 Questions I Have About "How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days" As An Adult

"Frost yourselves"

OK first of all, no shade to How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. It's one of the all-time greats and who am I to tell you otherwise?

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Andie's yellow dress is iconic, the tagline "frost yourselves" is a '00s classic, and Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey are an absolute vintage pairing.

But I recently rewatched it and I've got a couple of questions.

Here's a recap of the plot: Andie Anderson works at Composure, a women's magazine. She's writing a column in which she starts dating a guy, only to drive him away by making all the ~mistakes~ that single women commonly make. Meanwhile, Ben Barry works for an ad agency where his boss challenges him to make a woman fall in love with him in 10 days in order to secure the account he wants to work on. You can see where I'm going with this: They unknowingly pick each other.

1. OK first things first: How could Andie afford to get cabs all over New York City when all she did was write one monthly column for Composure magazine?

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And more to the point: What kind of staff writer job only requires you to write one column a month?

2. In the same vein, does anyone actually ride their motorbike everywhere, including to and from a black-tie event, in NYC?

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And just how did Andie, who was wearing a full-length dress to the event, manage to actually get onto the motorbike? Did she have to hitch it up? How did she not flash her pants??

3. This is more of a statement than a question, but please let us acknowledge that Ben is a massive jerk.

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He makes vacuous generalisations about women all the damn time. Who says "I love women"? I'm sorry but he does not love all women. What does he mean??

4. His comments about women are sexist, but they also just don't make any sense.

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What are you talking about, Ben???

5. Don't get me wrong, I'm definitely team Andie. But isn't Andie also kind of a jerk to Michelle?

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Her whole idea for the column comes from her friend Michelle being heartbroken. Well I'm sorry Andie, but exploiting your friend is mean!

6. Talking of mean characters, isn't Lana, the editor of Composure, the worst?

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She openly encourages her employees to exploit their own problems for content! And also she makes everyone take their shoes off for their weekly meeting, which is just weird.

7. Back to Ben. Why does he have a basketball hoop in his apartment?

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I am sorry but he's not seven!

8. And how do both he and Andie have such luxurious offices?

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I work in media and I can verify that my desk does not look like Andie's.

9. Right, we need to address some of the obvious sexism. Andie's entire article is built on the premise of doing "everything girls do wrong in relationships".

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What about just letting the women do what they wanna do, Andie?

10. And I am sorry but I refuse to believe that some of the things Andie thinks "girls do wrong" actually happen. For example, in a bid to drive Ben away, Andie fills his apartment with teddy bears, a signed photograph of herself, and a fern. Would anyone actually do this?

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And also I'm not trying to be difficult here, but I would love someone I was dating to buy me a houseplant on our second date. How is that not very thoughtful and kind???

11. Another thing that "girls do wrong in relationships" is buy their partner a dog. A) No one does this. B) They should.

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Dogs are cute; I don't see the problem.

12. Not only does Andie buy Ben a dog (kind + cute), she also buys her, Ben, and the dog matching clothes. I ask again, HOW IS THIS NOT THE BEST THING EVER??

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Side note: Why does Ben have a pool table in his office?

13. Another thing that apparently "girls do wrong" is take the men they are dating to watch chick flicks.

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If Ben can't appreciate the artistic genius of Sleepless in Seattle, then BEN DIDN'T HAVE TO GO.

14. And Celine Dion concerts!

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Again, correct me if I'm wrong, but I can't believe Celine Dion is to blame for women not being in the relationships they are pursuing!

15. Another thing Andie does is name Ben's penis. Now I just don't believe that this is a common mistake women make.

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I'm sorry but it's not!!

16. But what I really want to question is Ben's reaction to her suggested name.

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17. It's very problematic that a recurring theme of the movie is Andie accusing Ben of thinking she is fat.

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What a lazyyyyyy trope.

18. And then she makes an album of photoshopped images of her future children with Ben. Again, I ask: IS THIS A COMMON PROBLEM FOR WOMEN?

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Because I don't think it is!

19. Another thing Andie makes Ben do is see a couples therapist within the first week of them dating. My question, and I'm sure you're sensing a theme, is: Have any women ever done this????

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This is not a common problem.

20. I ask you: Do women commonly buy their partners ferns and cry when they die?

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I think not.

21. And is it unreasonable for them not to eat the lamb their partners make because they are vegetarian?

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Because I think that's just fine.

22. Time for some more lighthearted questions. How does Andie have access to a sunny rooftop in NYC on a Wednesday afternoon?

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It's aspirational, tbh.

23. And my penultimate question is: If Ben and Andie were both just using each other for their careers (which they were), why were they so mad at each other when they found out?

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They were both as bad as the other!

24. And whyyyyyyy did they end up together?

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Their whole relationship was a lie!

The end.

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