1. Let’s ditch Santa Claus.
And replace him with Joulupukki, who comes from Lapland rather than the North Pole. He visits after dinner, on Christmas Eve, in person. So we wouldn’t have to wake up at 6 a.m., we’d get our presents a day early, and we’d get to meet him. Win, win, win.
4. Let’s try to produce more men like this, please.
Hi there, Alexander Skarsgård, MY FUTURE HUSBAND.
10. Exclusive restaurants? Theirs are better.
Forget queuing up for three hours to eat another overpriced burger in London. If we want to do the whole exclusive thing, let’s go all out. Sweden’s Faviken, one of the world’s top 50 restaurants, has only 12 seats and is based on a remote farm 600km from Stockholm.
12. And sort out our schools.
Finnish schools have no uniforms, no entrance exams, no fees, no league tables and no Ofsted inspections. No one starts school until they’re 7 years old, and dividing children into sets based on ability is illegal. Kids address teachers by their first names, and no one ever gets more than 30 minutes of homework a night. And yet, since 2000, Finland has topped pretty much ever educational league table ever.
15. We should fill rye crusts with rice.
And stop stuffing food into greasy pastries. These Karelian piirakkaa are traditional pies from eastern Finland, eaten with munavoi, a mixture of butter and boiled eggs. Sounds gross, but it’s actually really good. And healthier than a Cornish pasty.
21. Let’s have some more interesting royals.
Hate to be controversial, but Kate Middleton hasn’t really done anything that exciting, has she? Victoria, the Crown Princess of Sweden, on the other hand, studied at Yale, and worked as a diplomat at the Ministry for Foreign Affairs. She’s just quite a lot better.
24. And when it all goes wrong, let’s learn to laugh.
Swedish politician Lars Ohly tweeted a picture of his balls by mistake this week. And then when he noticed, he LOL’d. “Ha ha,” he tweeted, “I accidentally posted a picture on Instagram that showed more than intend. Now corrected.” What an excellent, v. Scandi, reaction.