1. How dare you try to be an authority on the black woman experience?
2. Did you think you could just self-tan your way into the family?
3. How exactly did you achieve darkening your skin?
4. Is that Covergirl Queen Collection bronzer?
5. Were you aiming for more of a caramel, lemon, or vanilla soy latte complexion?
6. How can you not think that darkening your skin to mimic black people is the same as blackface?
7. Growing up, did you also feel like you never saw women who looked like you on the covers of magazines?
8. Do you read Essence, Ebony, and/or JET?
9. Will you be at Essence Fest next month?
10. Did you post constantly about Lupita and the changing of the beauty standard during the last awards season?
11. Did you cry because now little black girls everywhere can see someone who looks like them be celebrated?
12. Did you know that you can think black is beautiful without mimicking it?
13. What magical part of America did you live in that celebrated black beauty so intensely that it got the attention of a white kindergartener?!
14. What happened in between you drawing black stick figures and suing Howard for discriminating against you as a white woman?
15. How concerned were you about "the cause" then?
16. Or does money in your pocket trump money needed to educate black students?
17. Are there no other black women in Spokane?
18. Is that why you were able to fool so many people with those weaves?
19. How often do you wash you hair?
20. Did you hate sitting under the dryer to make sure that scalp (and those cornrows!) are dry?
21. Do you order a plate when Mr. Man comes in the salon?
22. Do you have to wrap your hair every single night?
23. Who does your braids?
24. If you burn the ends of blonde braids do they turn black?
25. Were you disappointed that you didn't have a single wisp of baby hair to go with your box braids?
26. Have you ever even experienced the magic of edge control?
27. When you said you were going natural... what exactly did you mean?
28. Do you twist or bantu knot that weave every night?
29. Do you keep a bottle of Mixed Chicks in you bathroom?I
30. Did you know the entire point of the natural hair movement was for us to accept the way our hair naturally grows?
31. Sooo you mentioned being a "black hairstylist"?
32. Are you licensed or more of a kitchen beautician?
33. Who are your customers?
34. Did they confide in you?
35. Did you play Nigerian dramas and/or BET while you did hair?
36. Have you ever used the stove to warm a hot comb?
37. Do you do your sons' shape-ups?
38. Did you know we are not our hair?
39. Did you consider your marriage an interracial relationship?
40. Did you know marrying a black man doesn't add or takeaway from your blackness?
41. What would you do if your son brought a white woman home?
42. Before spending the night at a man's house, did you tell him you have to wrap your hair up? How did that conversation go?
43. Has a man ever dismissed you because of your complexion and/or natural hair?
44. Have you ever read a Terry McMillan book?
45. Can you quote The Color Purple?
46. Have you cried to a Mary J. Blige song?
47. Danced to Frankie Beverly and Maze?
48. Do you skip over the n-word in rap songs?
49. Are you angling to be on Empire?
50. Has Iyanla called you yet?
51. Do you go to cookouts or barbecues?
52. Do black people eat your potato salad?
53. Did you know millions of white families in America manage to raise black children without thinking it makes them black?
54. How do you plan on teaching your sons the black experience when yours is built on deceit?
55. Did you know you can empathize with someone's struggle without making it your own?
56. Why couldn't you just fight for our causes as the white woman you truly are?
57. You know a real black woman would never be able to get away with what you just did right?