Recently, we asked the BuzzFeed Community to share their unpopular opinions on marriage, and lemme tell ya — we got A 👏 LOT 👏 of answers. Here's what they had to say.
1. "I think that soulmates 100% exist — however, I think you can have more than one."
"I think you can have many soulmates in a lifetime. Some people are lucky enough to grow with their soulmates and stay married, but some outgrow the one they married and find another for that time in their life."
2. "Every couple should live together for at least one year before getting married."
"The first year has a lot of highs, but trying to blend two lifestyles, habits, and priorities is tough and sometimes proves too much. Living with someone is totally different from dating."
3. "No marriage is ‘broken’ by a third party."
"It’s broken by a party within the marriage, and if it can be broken, it was already hopelessly flawed to begin with — you just might not have realized it."
4. "Weddings are so expensive, and the people getting married barely get to enjoy their big day."
"During a wedding, the couple is constantly running around trying to talk to all the guests and take pictures. I would rather spend that money on the honeymoon and spend that time with the person I love."
5. "A woman should NOT have her father walk her down the aisle."
"It signifies her dad giving his permission for their marriage, which isn’t needed. It also implies that she was 'owned' by her dad, and now she is being given to her husband to be 'owned' by him."
6. "Social media has literally ruined weddings."
"I am in the midst of wedding planning and have felt so much pressure to have a perfect, gorgeous wedding because that’s what we’re bombarded with on Instagram and Pinterest. Social media has driven up the price of all wedding-related products, and people are literally going into thousands of dollars of debt to be seen as 'perfect.' I feel like a lot of weddings have lost their true intentions."
7. "If I want children, I absolutely do not need another person to validate that."
"I'm currently working on starting a family, and I am happily single. I've reached a point in my life where I know I'm more than capable of handling things on my own. I'm very much looking to be a mom, but I have zero interest in being a wife."
8. "Marriage is not a requirement."
"Stop letting friends and family pressure you into something you’re not ready to do (or don’t want to do at all)! You don’t HAVE to get married. Don’t get married out of obligation!"
9. "People just think they're going to effortlessly find 'The One,' and then everything will magically be perfect."
"Most of us don't realize you need to put effort into a healthy relationship. All we do is think about ourselves, refuse to compromise, and then complain that our relationships aren't perfect."
10. "No one should be ashamed of getting a divorce."
"Of course divorce isn't an ideal ending for a marriage, but an even worse solution is to stay in an unhappy or abusive relationship. I'm not saying divorce should be glorified, but it shouldn't be considered embarrassing or shameful."
11. "Elopements are beautiful."
"I hate how some people look at it like it’s a selfish or irresponsible act."
12. "Marrying your high school sweetheart stunts your emotional growth."
"I think most of us turn into very different people as we get older, which is healthy and good, but if your relationship is built on who you were at 16, you're not going to feel it necessary to change — you'll likely resist healthy change for fear that it'll impact your relationship."
13. "Do not, and I repeat, DO NOT marry because of mind-bogglingly intense sexual chemistry."
"That will surely fade with kids, careers, stress, and time. Marry your best buddy, the one you have fun with, even when you’re doing nothing."
14. "There is no set amount of time you have to date before you get married."
"I have known people who dated for a few weeks before getting engaged and are still happily married decades later. I have known people, including myself, who dated for years before getting married and are still happily married. Get married when you feel that it is right for both of you. Don’t compare yourself to your parents, siblings, friends, or anyone else."
15. "I think of engagement rings as decorative handcuffs."
"And not in a sexy way. To me, they represent the destruction of your autonomy and an agreement to put up with the best-case scenario."
16. "People should get prenups."
"Yes, I know they’re expensive, but it just makes sense that you should be able to have a mature and in-depth conversation about hypotheticals, finances, and legal issues with your spouse. Also, if you can get through a prenup and still want to marry that person, it says a lot about your relationship and can be a sign that you can handle a mature and strong relationship."
17. "Prenups are a sign that you probably shouldn't marry that person."
"If you need a clause that protects you 'just in case,' then your relationship already has a Plan B. Marriage is meant to be for good, so why have a parachute packed?"
18. "It's OK not to co-sleep."
"I kick in my sleep, and my partner snores. We take turns with the couch and it hasn't affected our happiness one bit."
19. "Polyamory can work in the context of marriage."
"I’m not saying it’s for everyone, but I think more people could benefit from it even though it’s not the traditional idea of what a relationship should be. I wish there wasn’t such a stigma around it."
20. "Calling marriage 'just a piece of paper' is completely untrue."
"Marriage is a massive deal to so many people from so many different cultures, and it's a shame to cheapen it by saying that."
21. "I feel like marriage, for some, is just an excuse to stop trying."
22. "Don't share a bank account with your spouse."
"I’ve worked hard for my money, as has my partner, and it seems strange to combine our incomes. What if something happens? Now you've busted your ass to be successful and someone else gets half your savings?! Not for me."
23. "Getting married isn’t some attack on feminism."
"You can be a feminist and want to be married. It also isn’t for everyone. If you’re in a long-term, healthy, committed relationship and you want a marriage, have one. If you don’t want that, don’t have one."
24. "I'm not against marriage, I'm against weddings."
"Why spend so much money on one day when you could put that money toward a down payment on a house?"
25. "Getting married isn’t an accomplishment."
26. "Marriage is not hard. Life is hard."
"My marriage is one of the only things holding me together."
27. And finally, "There is no such thing as 'The One.'"
"You have to consciously make the decision to choose to love your significant other every single day. When things get tough, you have to remember to choose them, and to continue to choose them, or you won’t get through anything."
Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.