1.
remember when we were all 15 and would put on drugstore makeup and straighten our hair for 2 hours only to have an average looking boy who was failing biology ignore us at the high school football game
2.
Ur crying over a guy who still uses Snapchat as his only form of communication
3.
white dudes be like “imma play devil’s advocate” bro u made a 12 on the ACT the devil doesn’t want u
4.
women just get it. and men don’t. won’t elaborate
5.
When guys turn 30 they have to pick a subclass: - podcaster/streamer - beer guy - guy who bikes to work - golfer
6.
My bf don't know this but everytime he makes me cum i put $1 in a jar & that's how much ima spend on him for his bday. So far he's not getting anything https://t.co/Hzv5BzEFLw
7.
women posting their ugly boyfriends on Instagram like “what would I do without this goof” girl you would thrive that’s what you would do
8.
We spontaneously reproduce once we've made twenty men cry https://t.co/CtoYhIsIkg
9.
you ever meet a man and get strong reddit vibes from him
10.
no man has all three: -live -laugh -love
11.
you’re crying over a guy whose pick up line is “wanna smoke”
12.
if you’re a hot girl and you date a hot guy then hes gonna have a huge ego bc hes a hot guy and he’ll fuck you over. HOWEVER if you’re a hot girl and you date an ugly guy then he will get an ego bc he has a hot gf and then fuck you over. my point here is that hot girls can’t win
13.
my vibrator has 17 settings. For contrast, the most skilled man I've ever slept with had a mere 10 fingers.
14.
a guy is only as sexy as his reaction when he walks into a spider web
15.
Stop letting men that use 2 in 1 Shampoo as body wash make you cry
16.
“we don’t have to like actually have sex if you don’t want to...” - guy who really wants a blow job.
17.
every guy
18.
one time i let a guy tittyfuck me and he asked if i came when he did so now im thinking about that
19.
Women act like it’s a bug that men are dumb and horny when it’s actually a feature
20.
Last night I hung out with some random guy from tinder just so I could get smoked up and I let him get the aux and he goes “alright this is gonna be a weird one” and then put on float on by modest mouse