69 Things All Twentysomething Straight Guys Love

    Haha, nice.

    1. Giant Jenga.

    2. Following car accounts on Instagram.

    3. Following Emily Ratajkowski on Instagram.

    4. Never cutting their toenails.

    5. Two-in-one shampoo/conditioners.

    6. Three-in-one shampoo/conditioner/body washes.

    7. Trying to convince people that Androids are better than iPhones.

    8. The American flag.

    9. Using empty liquor bottles as home décor.

    10. Generally under-furnishing their apartments.

    guys really live in apartments like this and don’t see any issue

    11. Their March Madness bracket.

    12. Laughing at videos of people falling.

    13. Energy drinks.

    14. Mentioning that they tore their ACL in high school.

    15. Talking about high school in general.

    16. Meat (specifically steak).

    17. Not listing their zodiac signs on Bumble.

    18. Pretending not to know their zodiac sign.

    19. Naming their bongs.

    20. Optimum Nutrition Gold Standard Whey Protein.

    21. Guy Fieri.

    22. Being "in charge of the AUX."

    23. "Call Me Maybe" by Carly Rae Jepsen.

    24. Photoshopping "This could be you!" over their ex's face in their dating app photo.

    25. Referring to sex as "making whoopie."

    26. The Big Lebowski.

    27. Fireball.

    28. Calling their friends "the boys."

    29. Group chats with "the boys."

    30. Trying to bring back "icing."


    31. Pretending to like cigars.

    32. Memes.

    33. Calling their girlfriend "this one."

    34. Not knowing what bronzer does.

    35. Migos.

    36. Having strong brand loyalty to a specific beer.

    37. Complaining about not being able to grow a full beard.

    38. Complaining about their receding hairline.

    39. Game of Thrones.

    40. That guy who makes those satirical videos on PornHub.

    I’ve found it, the kinkiest thing on PornHub.

    41. Opening bottles with lighters.

    42. Having a watch collection.

    43. Saying they like dogs more than cats.

    44. The Grateful Dead.

    45. Taylor Swift.

    46. Dressing up for Oktoberfest.

    47. SantaCon.

    48. St. Patrick's Day.

    49. Calling St. Patrick's Day "St. Paddy's Day."

    50. Dressing up as Jake from State Farm for Halloween.

    51. Friends.

    52. Fleece vests.

    53. Gender-specific product branding.

    54. "Wonderwall" by Oasis.

    55. Knowing how to play exactly two chords on the guitar.

    56. Saying they love when girls don't wear a lot of makeup.

    57. Quoting The Office.

    58. Taking unflattering selfies.

    59. Ranting about their opinions.

    60. Starting their own podcasts.

    son: mommy what’s a podcast? me: well, dear, when a group of men love their opinions very much...

    61. "Shorts and hoodie weather."

    62. Reddit.

    63. "Ironic" Hawaiian shirts.

    64. Their trophies from when they played Little League.

    65. Dabbing (again) "ironically."

    66. Having their hand(s) down their pants at all times.

    67. "Old Town Road (Remix)" by Lil Nas X and Billy Ray Cyrus.

    68. Saying, "Haha, nice," whenever they see the number 69.

    69. Haha, nice.