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    15 Funny Tweets About Dating, Which Is Honestly A Joke At This Point

    "And for my next trick, I'll give him an 18th chance to prove his love for me."


    i want a husband. i’m tired of telling 20 guys how my day went


    i am ⚪️single ⚪️in a relationship 🔘ignoring red flags in anyone who gives me attention consistently


    how girls flirt: this picture of these monkeys i sent you who are snuggling that’s you and me you are the big monkey i am the little monkey how boys flirt: jesus fucking christ youve never seen john wick what the fuck are you out of your mind come over after work then


    and for my next trick i’ll give him an 18th chance to prove his love for me


    when u flirt but u know ur not down


    My favorite part of hook up culture is knowing the guy who cried in my bed over his ex girlfriend & held my hand for 4 hours before never speaking to me again still watches my Instagram story every day


    when your crush actually responds back to your message


    sexual tension is just when you and a hot person have nothing to say to each other


    men love to date powerful women for 3-8 weeks


    I think I’m the perfect your-ex-boyfriends-new-girlfriend because from some angles I’m really hideous (good for ur self esteem) and from some angles I’m really beautiful (good for your transitive-property market value)


    me stoned showing Nathan for You to another tinder girl


    if you dating a white guy you're single to me. tf Matt gonna do, start a podcast?


    me 166 hours a week: SINGLE!!!! dodnt dey tel u tht i was a SAVAGE!!! fuck your white HORSE and ur CARRIAGE!!! hot gitl YEAR! me every sunday 5-7pm: i would sacrifice my sense of smell for someone to hold


    bumble can kiss my ass and not just because i got blocked by four different matches in an hour