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22 Reasons You Want Jenny Mollen To Be Your New Best Friend

You know you want Jenny Mollen, Twitter phenom and author, to be your best friend. Here's why.

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The most important thing to know about Teets is that, unlike most dogs, he's an actual person. I'm not one of those animal freaks who will tell you that all dogs are created equal. Some dogs are just dogs. Teets, however, is a person in a small dog-sized fur suit and has to be treated as such.
The book is not good by any sort of literary standard. There is practically zero story. The heroine, Ana, is a fucking loser whom I'd never be friends with. And the love interest, Christian, is the type of guy who'd no doubt ask to fist me at a dinner party. My response, of course, being: 'Dude, you're twenty-seven years old. Get the fuck away from me... Wait, you have your own helicopter? Okay, come back.'... [But] After zipping through Fifty Shades Darker, the second book in the trilogy, I was doing things I hadn't done in years, like shaving all the blond hairs off the back of my thighs, closing the bathroom door while I peed, and seducing my husband with more than just a simple: 'I feel like we're supposed to be having sex.' I was a rabid, insatiable animal. And by that I mean I wanted sex more than twice a week.