The Ten Commandments Of Texting Literally Anyone In 2018

Thou shalt not text "k" under any circumstances.

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1. Thou shalt not use read receipts.

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I don't want to know that you read my message and simply ignored it! That is hurtful information for me to have!

2. Thou shalt ALWAYS include sufficient emojis and exclamation points in your texts:

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This is the only way I know you're not mad at me.

3. Thou shalt never send this text:

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Or I will spend the rest of my damn day freaking out. AM I IN TROUBLE?

4. And thou shalt never send this text, either:

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Nobody in the history of the world has ever said "no" to this, so why even bother? Please just ask your question cuz I'm starting to sweat!!!

5. Thou shalt not start typing a response...and then stop.

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There is nothing worse than seeing that pesky little typing bubble pop up — and then disappear.

6. Thou shalt never call me five times in a row without leaving some sort of message.

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Otherwise I will have no choice but to assume that everyone I love is dead.

7. Thou shalt not ask me, "What are you doing tonight?" without any further context.

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Listen. If you have a specific plan in mind, just say it! But don't force me to admit that I'm totally free tonight without letting me know what I'm getting myself into. Not cool!

8. Thou shalt not text me a super long message or I WILL have a heart attack.

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A whole bunch of short messages? Totally cool. One singular text message longer than War and Peace? That's never good!

9. Thou shalt not post on Instagram if you haven't replied to my text yet.

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Ahem! If you posted that selfie on your Insta story, you definitely saw my text!!!

10. And lastly, thou shalt NEVER, EVER send the following text:

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That is an act of war.