Lies. We all tell 'em!
And sometimes, we find ourselves telling REALLLLLY DUMB lies, for no apparent reason! So comedian Eliza Skinner posed a question to her followers on Twitter:
What’s the dumbest lie you’ve told?
And the answers have been 1) hilarious and 2) a little *too* relatable. Like, why do we put ourselves in these dumbass situations?
I told a Lyft driver I was a writer and when he pressed further I said I wrote “Sci fi Short stories.” He said “whoa, not much of a market for that. Where do you publish them?” “Magazines, mostly”. I felt like I was on fire the whole time.
Sometimes you just need a cool story to tell at parties.
@elizaskinner I used to tell people that I was the voice that whispered “zoom zoom” at the end of Mazda commercials.
Other times, it's a strategic parenting move.
@elizaskinner When she was little we told our daughter that the ice cream truck only plays music to let you know they're out of ice cream-- worked for years until she was at Siobhan's house and they busted me😂
And sometimes, you'll say just about anything to save a little $$$.
@elizaskinner I was buying an engagement ring for my now wife when the sales lady asked if I was a Christian. I had a feeling that a yes answer meant a better price. So I said yes. Then she wanted to know what church I went to and all sorts of specifics. 20 lies later, I got the deal.
People have also started sharing the dumbass lies they told as a kid.
@elizaskinner In 2nd grade I was so afraid I had a giant late fee for a library book that was months late I said I had a twin named Claret Chantal who had taken it out. ☹️ Needless to say they did not believe me.
Cuz, let's be honest, pretty much every kid is a lying sociopath:
@elizaskinner When I was in 3rd grade I thought having glasses was REALLY cool. I told my mom I was having trouble seeing. She set an appt with the optometrist and I purposefully said all of the wrong letters during the test.
We thought we were SO slick back then.
@elizaskinner When I was 7 I told everyone my name was really Karen.
But in the end, you always ended up getting caught.
@elizaskinner In Kindergarten I told my mom I had been chosen as the new school mascot. She believed me and after a few days went to ask the teacher about the practice schedule and my teacher, rightfully, looked at her like she was insane. I still don’t know why I did this.
As for the dumbest lie *I've* ever told? Well, I once told the lady cutting my hair that I was studying marine biology in school. Unfortunately for me, she had a LOT of questions about dolphins. Oops.
