back to top

19 Little White Lies Every Retail Worker Has Told

I definitely did not hide the rest of that memo in a drawer.

Posted on

1. "My train is running late."

FOX

I slept in.

2. "My car won't start!"

I slept in.

3. "I have food poisoning, I can't come in today."

USA

I am still drunk from last night, that's basically food poisoning.

4. "No, sorry, I can't come in on short notice today, I already had plans."

NBC

PLANS TO NOT BE AT WORK OMG.

5. "I can't attend the staff meeting today; I have class at that time."

Bravo Networks

I hate staff meetings I don't care just leave me alone OMG.

6. "I can't work late night trade anymore, I have uni then, too."

NBC

I'll be at uni... the uni bar is still on campus so technically, ~TECHNICALLY~, that is the truth and I'm basically an angel.

7. "Yep, I totally finished all that paperwork."

Bravo Networks

I hid it.

8. "We've only been chatting for two minutes and we've been talking about how best to merchandise this area."

E!

We've been standing here for 45 minutes gossiping.

9. "I'm not hungover, I just ate some bad sushi last night."

CBS

...am I dying?

10. "The store was really busy, that's why I got nothing done!"

CBS

...I was playing "would you rather" with my friends.

11. "There's totally no swearing on this album she says 'thug' not 'fuck'!"

Bravo Networks

I just want to listen to some bangers CAN I LIVE?!

12. "I have some family stuff going on I need to have my phone with me at all times."

Oxygen

My friends have gossip and I *need* to hear all about it.

13. "Yes, I definitely think we'll make more sales if we put balloons everywhere."

Lifetime

Like balloons are some kind of magical wallet-opener. I can't.

14. "I actually need that Sunday off because it's my brother's birthday and we're going to lunch together."

Bravo Networks

I am pre-planning my hangover.

15. "I have definitely tidied up my area and have not just hidden the mess from your eyes."

E4

Don't look under the shelves, don't look under the shelves, don't look under the shelves.

16. "I've heard it's really good!"

Bravo Networks

I need you to buy this movie because head office sent me 500 copies and I need that space SORRY.

17. "I'll have a look out the back for you."

ABC Family

I am going to go check my phone and talk about Pretty Little Liars.

18. "It's been really popular!"

FOX

I hate that dress and think it's the ugliest thing I've ever seen.

19. "Yes, I can tell you all the details about how this works!"

I am either reading to you from the box or straight up lying to your face right now.