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1. It's extremely hard to look in the mirror without blushing...
2. ....or trying to kiss yourself.
3. Hummingbirds frequently attempt to suckle from your nostrils.
4. You can cut glass with the shine from your pearly whites.
5. Each of your body parts has won People Magazine's most beautiful person of the year.
6. Your chiseled jawline has inspired atheists to pray.
7. Diamonds look dull next to your radiant skin.
8. The ultrasound pictures of you made all the nurses jealous....
9. .....and secured you a lifetime contract with a top modeling agency.
10. For Christmas, the only thing your friends want is a picture of you for their mantle.
11. Your fingernails are classified as precious gems.
12. In 2010 your face became the eighth wonder of the world.....
13. .......just before your legs became the ninth.
14. The sheer perfection of your rump is the only thing that's brought Chuck Norris to tears......
15. And Jean Claude Van Damme to his knees.
16. You're no longer welcome at national landmarks because you always become the main attraction.
17. And, you're so flawless that you can no longer volunteer at the hospital as all the patients who set eyes on you believe they've died and gone to heaven.
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