1. OK, time to get some work done.
2. So far, so good.
3. Ahh, there's nothing like peace and qu—
4. What was that?
5. Hmm, just a small cough.
6. No big deal.
7. If I concentrate really hard during the next hour, I'll have this presentation done.
8. Was that another cough?
9. Bro, get some Halls and calm down.
10. He sounds like Koffing from Pokémon.
11. Ooh, I forgot that's in my Netflix queue. Need to marathon that shit this weekend.
12. All right, get back to work.
13. WAS THAT ANOTHER FUCKING COUGH?!
14. OK, OK, be cool.
15. It's all gonna be good.
16. Just try to ignore it.
17. Wait, I think he stopped.
18. About damn time.
19. He should see a doctor for that. Jeez.
20. Ugh, now what's that sound?
21. Oh god. It's Nancy from HR humming.
22. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no...
23. She's the worst.
24. Like, the literal worst.
25. Please stop, please stop, please stop.
26. Someone call the humming police.
27. We got a hummer over here.
28. Heh, "hummer."
29. OMG, focus.
30. Just try and block it out.
31. You can do this.
32. Mind over matter.
33. Or whatever that meditation crap's called.
34. Stop looking at the clock.
35. God, I wish that clock would stop ticking so damn loudly.
36. How the hell can I get something done with that infernal ticking going on?!
37. Tick, tock. Tick, tock.
38. Annoying as shit.
39. I'll smash it with a hammer!
40. Man, I love The Emperor's New Groove.
41. Holy crap. Homeboy next to me is clicking his pen.
42. I'm going to shove that pen down your throat in about five seconds.
43. Then kill you. They'll never find the body.
44. Wait, that sound.
45. No...dear god, it can't be...
46. WHISTLING.
47. The bane of my existence.
48. I don't care what Dante says. The ninth circle of hell is filled with people whistling.
49. Shrilly whistling.
50. HOW IN GOD'S NAME AM I SUPPOSED TO FINISH THIS PRESENTATION?!
51. And now those girls down the hall are cackling like banshees.
52. Seriously, they sound like they're in pain.
53. Maybe they are.
54. Well, SO AM I.
55. Sir, you did not just put your headphones on full volume.
56. I don't want to hear "Shake It Off" for the 15th time today.
57. I'm gonna "hate, hate, hate" ON YOU very soon.
58. OMG, how the hell can that guy still be whistling?! Take. A. Breath.
59. Between the Taylor wannabe and whistler-boy, I'm gonna lose it.
60. And hey, pen clicker, STFU. Or that pen is going in your ass soon, I swear to all things holy.
61. And Nancy, hum a funeral dirge.
62. Because that's where you're going if you don't stop.
63. Welp, this presentation's not getting done today. That's that.
64. No big deal. I'm only gonna get FIRED.
65. I hope all you assholes are fucking happy now!
66. I really should buy some noise-canceling headphones. And beat all of you over the head with them until I pass out from exhaustion.
67. Or just freelance from home. In my soundproof room. Alone.
