The Flying Dutchman
Spencer's thoughts: This sandwich destroyed my faith in grilled cheese. The half-melted, lukewarm cheese makes it feel like you're chewing on rubber, and the beef patties don't help either. I will say that this sandwich definitely improved when we added our own sauce to it, but I definitely won't be ordering it again.
Lara's thoughts: This was...horrible yet delicious? I regret eating it, hearing about it, seeing it, and touching it. But I didn't HATE eating it. And for that reason, I am ashamed of who I am as a person. If you REALLY like meat and cheese, then, yeah, you'll like this. You'll also enjoy this if you like indigestion. Otherwise, there is literally no reason for this to exist.
Spencer's thoughts: This is what I expected my In-N-Out to look like ~after~ I was done with it. The Animal Style sauce and the grilled onions really make this dish, and they almost make you forget how unsexy you look while eating it. Take off the burger on top and you've got yourself a seriously great secret menu item.
Lara's thoughts: I mean, look, did it taste good? Yeah. Do I want to eat it again? Yes and no. It hurt me physically. I could feel the sodium oozing out of my pores. But, like, yeah, it tasted like a burger and fries with a lot of salt. If I was feeling weak I would eat this again. But I wouldn't like myself for it. I would regret it after. I still regret eating this to present day.
Spencer's thoughts: Words cannot express how mad I was when this was handed to me. It's literally JUST a beef patty! No sauce, no bun, no toppings, and no fun. Order this if you only like meat, salt, and sadness.
Lara's thoughts: This was good. Don't listen to Spencer or anyone else who tells you otherwise. It tasted good. Do I want to eat it every day? No. But that doesn't mean I didn't enjoy the fuck out of it. What's wrong with a little more salt on your patty? Nothing. TBH, this is definitely supposed to be eaten ON THE ACTUAL SANDWICH, but it ain't bad off of it either.
Spencer's thoughts: Instant regret. I don't care how much you like meat and cheese, no one needs this much of it. After eating this burger I wanted to curl up into a ball and just sit helplessly for a few hours. It will ruin your day.
Lara's thoughts: NO. DELETE THIS. WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU EVER NEED FOUR DAMN PATTIES??? JUST EAT ONE. I don't even know if this tasted good or not because I couldn't fit the damn thing in my mouth to see. Fuck this sandwich. Sorry.
Grilled Cheese, Animal Style
Spencer's thoughts: By far the best secret menu item. It was so good, I almost forgot there wasn't any meat in it. It's also the closest thing to an actual sandwich, so that made me feel a little better about myself. 10/10, would eat again.
Lara's thoughts: This is the best thing In-N-Out has to offer, and I've tried most of their menu now. It is so delicious. It tastes exactly like an Animal Style burger except it doesn't give you meat sweats afterward. I love this so much I could cry about it. I am going to order this every single time now. You should too. #BANTHEMEAT
Root Beer Float
Spencer's thoughts: This was the first sip of soda I had in over 10 years, and I hate how much I liked it. You can't go wrong with ice cream and more sugar. This is one of those things that tastes SO good while you're eating in, and then you feel awful 20 minutes later. Is it worth it? Yes, probably.
Lara's thoughts: I mean, this was delicious. Duh. What's not to like about root beer and ice cream together in a cup???? You can probably guess what this tastes like if you've ever tasted root beer and vanilla ice cream. It's classic and delicious. If you're sitting there thinking, "Root Beer floats are gross" then I don't want you in my life. This was delicious. Bye.