1. When Michelle made hundreds of dollars from her lemonade stand and bought a donkey.
2. When Mickey Rooney owned a joke store and held Michelle and Jesse captive because he didn’t want to spend Christmas alone.
3. When D.J. was in eighth grade and unknowingly got married to a Greek boy because she walked around the kitchen table with him.
4. When Joey was arrested for buying D.J. a stolen car, but everyone convinced the cop that he's a fool and didn't know better, so she let him go.
5. When Joey promises to get R.E.M. to perform at the Smash Club’s opening, but it turns out to be a set of 60-year-old triplets instead.
6. When D.J. and Kimmy were 10 and literally put a down payment on a horse and tried to keep it from their parents, but it’s a freaking horse, so yeah.
7. When everyone got marooned on an island and casually made camp, then ended up at a concert, so Jesse sang an Elvis song to resolve everything.
8. When the gang raised over $1 million by singing and dancing on a 24-hour telethon.
9. When Jesse went skydiving before his wedding, landed in a pile of tomatoes, was arrested, hitched a ride to the church on a bus full of gospel singers, had them sing at his wedding, and paid them in tomatoes.
10. When Jesse's band was unknowingly scheduled to play polka music, but Viper saved the day because apparently he was a polka star as a kid.
11. When there's a flashback to when Joey and Danny do a “soul shake” to prove that they’re soul brothers, and a black kid watches in disgrace.
12. When the Tanner family went to Lake Tahoe and D.J. put money into the slot machine, despite being about 10 years old, and won $100,000.
13. When Jesse was in a commercial and the thirsty producer wanted him to only wear a towel and you questioned why the hell this was a kid's show.
14. When Stephanie randomly tried listening to the radio in Joey's car but accidentally drove it through the kitchen.
15. When Danny dated a college student, and D.J. was about to enter high school, meaning his girlfriend was possibly only four years older than his daughter.
16. When Danny and Joey dressed in drag in an attempt to steal a stuffed seal from rival sorority girls, and they ended up in jail.
17. When Joey got a job on a kid’s program but was quickly fired for hugging the ex-host, who apparently suffered from acute physical paranoia.
18. When Stephanie called Kimmy a whore.
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Season 4, episode 6: “A Pinch for a Pinch”
19. And when Papouli died, because the jerks at ABC should have known that NO ONE was ready for that emotional roller coaster.
