We asked the BuzzFeed Community to tell us their favorite celebrity poop stories. Here are the hilarious results.
Note: Not all submissions are from Community users.
2. Miriam Margolyes's shitty dinner party:
“I was invited to a lovely dinner party… When I arrived, I flew into the loo and had this enormous shit. Then I flushed the loo and washed my hands and it didn’t go down. It wasn’t going down. And then I made this terrible mistake: I flushed the loo again. Not only didn’t it go down, but it sort of bubbled up to meet me. What I was afraid of was that it would surge over the bowl. I’m such a coward, so I backed out of the loo, closed the door, and instead of saying, ‘How do you do? It’s lovely to meet you,’ I said, ‘I’ve blocked the loo with my shit and I don’t know what to do.’”
Submitted by spenceralthouse
7. Tyler Oakley's gooey hangover:
"One night in college I drank a lot of vodka. I woke up the next day thinking, 'Oh, god, I have class.' I walked down the hall and down the stairs and felt terrible. Then I thought I just had to fart. I trusted the fart, and I was halfway to class. I shit my pants. It was like an explosion. It was flowing. I waltzed down the hallway to get to my room, and we have an open door policy in my hall, so everyone was just, like, 'Hey, Tyler!' I got back to my room, and my roommate was there. I showered, I threw away my underwear, and I never told anyone."
Submitted by jmccune0908
8. Louis C.K.'s backwards urinal:
"I was asked to do this thing where I'd go on stage with the mayor of New York. I asked the aide if I could go to the bathroom, and he said, 'You have to go real quick.' I run to the bathroom, and I'm trying to go fast — I'm trying to pee quickly — so I'm sort of pushing to get the pee out. It's too much pressure, and out the back...pop! I'm at a urinal and boom, out the back. So I've got wet underwear, and the mayor is waiting for me. I couldn't do anything, so I followed the aide and they took me to the waiting area and I stood there for 45 minutes, and I'm sort of just drying off. So I stood next to the mayor of New York City, and I did the whole thing with poop in my pants."
Submitted by kaelintully
10. And H. Jon Benjamin's diarrhea catastrophe:
"I had massive diarrhea in my Rent-A-Car. I didn't just shit my pants, I shit my car. I flew in from Boston at, like, one in the morning. Then in the rental car, it hit me: I tensed up and felt so sick. I pulled over at a gas station, and the guy said, 'No bathroom. No bathroom.' I waddled back to the car, and I'm sweating. I go to another place. Same thing: 'No bathroom.' I remember yelling, 'Fuck, fuck, fuck!' I got to the freeway, and it was over. Just, shit. Liquid came out. I was in a total state of shock. I finally pulled up to the hotel, and no one was there. Then all of a sudden my door opened: 'Welcome to the—,' the stench was so awful, it cut him off. I panicked. I just ran. I left my car on. I ran to the bathroom, took my clothes off, wiped myself, and realized I forgot my bag in the car. I had to put my shorts back on. I turned around and security was there. I tried to show them my ID, but it was covered in shit. I finally got to the front desk, almost in tears, and I said, 'My name is Jon Benjamin, I'm staying at this hotel, I had diarrhea in my pants for the last two hours. Please help me. Just, please get me to the room.' Luckily they were nice about it all."
Submitted by scotjena