39 Reasons To Avoid Lancashire Like The Plague
Just carry on until you reach the Lake District. There's nothing to see here.
Lancashire. It's all run down streets.
And the buildings are so drab.
Seriously. There are no nice buildings anywhere.
And you can kiss goodbye to posh lunches too.
Don't bother trying to find something decent for dinner either.
The whole place has been left to ruin.
If it's culture you're after, you'd be better off trying Manchester instead.
Want views? Just keep going to the Lake District.
There's nothing to see here.
Even our trains are past it, FFS.
The locals are a bit snappy.
In fact, they're all miserable.
Probably because it's always raining.
Basically, it's just not Yorkshire.
Our viaduct game isn't even up to much.
And Blackpool is just tacky.
Who'd want to visit this beach?
Seriously. Where's a girl to sunbathe?
All those hills just get boring after a while.
Even the wildlife's dull.
You'd just get bored staring at sheep all day.
It's full of boy racers.
It's basically a hot bed of crime.
They don't do summer in Lancashire.
Look: it's hardly village of the year territory.
The local delicacies are unpalettable.
There's nothing to entertain you.
No-one has a sense of humour in Lancashire.
They're too busy being aggressive.
There's nothing interesting to see.
Unless you want to visit a mill.
Or learn about cotton.
I mean, it's not as if anything worth remembering ever happened here.
Nah. Nothing good ever came out of Lancashire.
Best avoid the parks, too.
Actually, best stay indoors altogether.
But hey, at least there's always tea.
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