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May 13, 2015

39 Reasons To Avoid Lancashire Like The Plague

Just carry on until you reach the Lake District. There's nothing to see here.

1. Lancashire. It's all run down streets.

Flickr: keithpatterson /Creative Commons

Dunsop Bridge

2. And crap markets.

3. And the buildings are so drab.

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Samlesbury Hall

4. Seriously. There are no nice buildings anywhere.

Flickr: fotp /Creative Commons

Towneley Hall

5. None. At. All.

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Gawthorpe Hall

6. And you can kiss goodbye to posh lunches too.

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Garden Cafe, Clitheroe and Boardwalk Cafe, Accrington

7. Don't bother trying to find something decent for dinner either.

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Northcote Manor, Langho

8. The whole place has been left to ruin.

Flickr: purpleseadonkey /Creative Commons

Whalley Abbey

9. If it's culture you're after, you'd be better off trying Manchester instead.

Flickr: 118118485@N05 /Creative Commons

Blackpool Tower Ballroom

10. Want views? Just keep going to the Lake District.

Flickr: sg2012 /Creative Commons

Earnsdale Reservoir, Darwen

11. There's nothing to see here.

Flickr: sg2012 /Creative Commons

Look how bored this dog is.

12. Even our trains are past it, FFS.

Flickr: dethstar /Creative Commons

An East Lancashire Railway steam locomotive

13. The locals are a bit snappy.

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Martin Mere, Burscough

14. In fact, they're all miserable.

Flickr: bevgoodwin /Creative Commons

Windmill Animal Farm, Burscough

15. Probably because it's always raining.

Flickr: mattjnewman /Creative Commons

See? BLEAK.

16. Basically, it's just not Yorkshire.

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Hurst Green

17. Our viaduct game isn't even up to much.

Flickr: benandclare /Creative Commons

Whalley Viaduct

18. And Blackpool is just tacky.

Flickr: vegaseddie /Creative Commons

19. Who'd want to visit this beach?

Flickr: marshey /Creative Commons

Lytham St Annes

20. Seriously. Where's a girl to sunbathe?

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Cleveleys

21. All those hills just get boring after a while.

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Pendle Hill

22. Even the wildlife's dull.

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RSPB Leighton Moss

23. You'd just get bored staring at sheep all day.

Flickr: arg_flickr /Creative Commons

24. It's full of boy racers.

Flickr: mgspiller /Creative Commons

25. It's basically a hot bed of crime.

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Morris dancers in Clitheroe

26. They don't do summer in Lancashire.

Flickr: atoach /Creative Commons

Bacup, Rossendale

27. Look: it's hardly village of the year territory.

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Astley Park

28. The local delicacies are unpalettable.

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Lancashire Hot Pot

29. There's nothing to entertain you.

Flickr: fussyonion /Creative Commons

Kaiser Chiefs at Empress Ballroom, Blackpool

30. No-one has a sense of humour in Lancashire.

31. They're too busy being aggressive.

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Horses hate Lancashire

32. There's nothing interesting to see.

Flickr: sg2012 /Creative Commons

Spaceship? Satellite dish? No, it's the Haslingden Halo

33. Unless you want to visit a mill.

Flickr: purpleseadonkey /Creative Commons

Marsh Mill, Thornton

34. Or learn about cotton.

Flickr: nicmcphee /Creative Commons

Helmshore Mill

35. I mean, it's not as if anything worth remembering ever happened here.

Flickr: waldopepper /Creative Commons

The Pendle Witches

36. Nah. Nothing good ever came out of Lancashire.

Flickr: simongreenwood /Creative Commons

Eric Morecambe statue at Morecambe Bay

37. Best avoid the parks, too.

Flickr: ronsaunders47 /Creative Commons

Lytham St Annes

38. Actually, best stay indoors altogether.

Flickr: matthewhartley369 /Creative Commons

Forest of Bowland

39. But hey, at least there's always tea.

Flickr: dullhunk /Creative Commons

If only it was from Yorkshire.

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