31 Utterly Useless Things British Kids Learned At Primary School
*Practices drawing "the S" forever*
How to get out of a parachute before you are trapped for the rest of your life.
How to run with a beanbag on your head.
And then how to sprint the length of a field whilst tied to your mate.
How to run while balancing a hard-boiled egg on a spoon.
And how to get from one side of a field to another inside an old potato sack.
How to tell your future.
And the number of future boyfriends you were going to have based on how many pretend flowers you picked from a "garden."
How to make triangle shapes in cat’s cradle.
The bizarre clapping game: “I went to a Chinese restaurant to buy a loaf of bread bread bread.”
All the dance moves to "Saturday Night."
How to freeze when a playground monitor walked around ringing a bell.
How to put on a firefighter's uniform really quickly.
How to play "London’s Burning" on the recorder.
And then how to sing it in a round.
The "King of the Road" song.
What animals the different instruments represent in Peter and the Wolf.
The entire plot of Through the Dragon's Eye.
Scariest show in the entire world.
The "Magic E" song.
How to do joined-up writing.
How to draw a picture of yourself based on a grid.
How to make an absolute masterpiece on MS Paint.
And how to make really over-animated Powerpoint presentations.
"Divorced, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded, survived."
"Remember, remember the 5th of November, gunpowder, treason, and plot."
The life cycle of a frog.
How to grow cress out of an egg.
The tongue or taste map.
This specific layout.
How to make “title pages.”
How to draw “the S.”
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