back to top

24 Things Men Can Finally Buy

It's been a long time coming, boys.

Posted on

1. Toothpaste.

If you don't use men's toothpaste you might have to go to the men's dentist and get your manly cavities filled. Probably with something really masculine like sawdust.
@RubyJubilee / Via Twitter: @RubyJubilee

If you don't use men's toothpaste you might have to go to the men's dentist and get your manly cavities filled. Probably with something really masculine like sawdust.

2. Sunscreen.

Make sure you wear this while you're out hunting for wolves with your bare hands or whatever it is men are meant to do on the weekends.
@_BeTheOverflow / Via Twitter: @_BeTheOverflow

Make sure you wear this while you're out hunting for wolves with your bare hands or whatever it is men are meant to do on the weekends.

3. Bath salts.

Great for winding down after a long day of growing your beard and running the world.
@jessica_gravel / Via Twitter: @jessica_gravel

Great for winding down after a long day of growing your beard and running the world.

4. Cupcakes.

Are you a man? Do you like the idea of eating delicious baked goods, but you're afraid that the light flavours and pretty frosting designs might be the start of a slippery slope to a life of drinking rosé and talking about the Kardashians with your gal pals? Then these are for you.
@nipplescam / Via Twitter: @nipplescam

Are you a man? Do you like the idea of eating delicious baked goods, but you're afraid that the light flavours and pretty frosting designs might be the start of a slippery slope to a life of drinking rosé and talking about the Kardashians with your gal pals? Then these are for you.

5. Wheat biscuits.

I mean these are basically just Weetabix packaged to look like a video game cover.
@kateluery / Via Twitter: @kateluery

I mean these are basically just Weetabix packaged to look like a video game cover.

6. Tea.

Nothing like a steaming hot cup of masculinity to set you up for the day.
@jinyongart / Via Twitter: @jinyongart

Nothing like a steaming hot cup of masculinity to set you up for the day.

7. Bread.

Men's bread gives you the energy you need for doing manly things like golf and being allowed to walk around with your shirt off in summer.
@glumpeach / Via Twitter: @glumpeach

Men's bread gives you the energy you need for doing manly things like golf and being allowed to walk around with your shirt off in summer.

8. Yoghurt.

IT'S REALLY POWERFUL, BRO.
@emmaestrub / Via Twitter: @emmaestrub

IT'S REALLY POWERFUL, BRO.

9. Nail buffers.

Before this was invented men walked around with long, clawlike nails.
@wntrsoldiers / Via Twitter: @wntrsoldiers

Before this was invented men walked around with long, clawlike nails.

10. Shower sponges.

For manly skin.
@dumbofficial / Via Twitter: @dumbofficial

For manly skin.

11. Umbrellas.

At last, men can stop getting soaked in the rain.
@sotomayoreva / Via Twitter: @sotomayoreva

At last, men can stop getting soaked in the rain.

12. Dog shampoo.

God forbid your male dog should smell like peaches.
@snaaailey / Via Twitter: @snaaailey

God forbid your male dog should smell like peaches.

13. Water.

Finally, men can stop dying of thirst.
@chroniclea3 / Via Twitter: @chroniclea3

Finally, men can stop dying of thirst.

14. Combs.

Did you know men's hair is so powerful it would break a regular comb?
@Bone_Rob / Via Twitter: @Bone_Rob

Did you know men's hair is so powerful it would break a regular comb?

15. Soap.

FOR A MAN'S HAND. If a lady tried to wash her hands with one of these she'd probably just break her wrist.
@originalsettler / Via Twitter: @originalsettler

FOR A MAN'S HAND. If a lady tried to wash her hands with one of these she'd probably just break her wrist.

16. Laundry dryer sheets.

I imagine these smell like a gym locker room.
@SimpleThim / Via Twitter: @SimpleThim

I imagine these smell like a gym locker room.

17. Books.

BOOKS FOR DUDES ABOUT MANLY THINGS LIKE SPORTS AND ALSO MORE SPORTS.
@brvlee / Via Twitter: @brvlee

BOOKS FOR DUDES ABOUT MANLY THINGS LIKE SPORTS AND ALSO MORE SPORTS.

18. Birthday cards.

That's not even a pun, is it?
@sarahelizbth_ / Via Twitter: @sarahelizbth_

That's not even a pun, is it?

19. Sweets.

They're exactly the same as regular sweets, but at least they say "man" on the outside.
@ladygurningsoul / Via Twitter: @ladygurningsoul

They're exactly the same as regular sweets, but at least they say "man" on the outside.

20. Lip balm.

See that it has been ENGINEERED like other cool manly things such as cars and lawnmowers.
@emeliorist / Via Twitter: @emeliorist

See that it has been ENGINEERED like other cool manly things such as cars and lawnmowers.

21. Sore throat lozenges.

They've called them "lozzers" because apparently that's more masculine than lozenges.
@CyborgReine / Via Twitter: @CyborgReine

They've called them "lozzers" because apparently that's more masculine than lozenges.

22. Candles.

"Mandles".
@elitvit / Via Twitter: @elitvit

"Mandles".

23. Hand gel.

To get rid of all those macho germs on your hands.
@kaylamatterss / Via Twitter: @kaylamatterss

To get rid of all those macho germs on your hands.

24. Toilet wipes.

The slogan says "legit dudes only". OK.
@elizaexx / Via Twitter: @elizaexx

The slogan says "legit dudes only". OK.